Lose Yourself
by Ana Morales
Summary: The daughter of Barbara Gordon and Dick Grayson is confronted with her painful past and introduced to the family secret that her mother has kept from her. How will she react when she finds out that the people her friends fear are her family? Please R&R!
1. After School Activities

Disclaimer: This is based off of characters in DC Comics. Therefore, ones you recognize probably aren't mine, and the ones you don't are.  
  
A/N: I know this is short, but there's lots more coming, so bear with me. I figure I'll get it posted as I go.   
  
"You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you want it, you better never let it go, you only get one shot do not miss your chance to glow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better… he's known as the globetrotter…he's grown farther from home, he's no father, he goes home and barely knows his own daughter…"  
  
She crouched alone outside Hamilton Hill High School beside the wall of the main stair. She mouthed the words to the music that blasted from the headphones on her head and slowly burned at the brick with a small lighter. Her hair was a fiery red, pixie short and spiked at the ends, with peroxide chunks of highlight intermixed. Her eyes were a brilliant blue, smoky-lidded and lined in black. Those eyes, so beautiful, so tortured. On her wrists were leather gauntlets and around her neck a pseudo-dog collar, black, with one metal ring at the front. She wore basic street garb over her petite and muscled form: a torn black tank midriff and low-slung cargo pants that were two sizes too big. On her feet: heavy combat boots laced all the way up, hiding a perfect ballet arch that she longed to forget. Dancing was her past, a part of someone her mother wanted her to be, but a part of her that she herself could never be.  
  
"Fast Five forever," she murmured, closing the lighter and taking out a switchblade. "Especially you, Diego." She began to carve at the smoky burns in the brick, focusing on each curve, line and shape. The music blared in her ears and she began to block out all but the words…  
  
"But the beat goes on de de dum de doop da da, you better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you want it, you better never let it go, you only get one shot do not miss your chance to glow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime…no more games I'm gonna change this game you call rage, tear the mother-fuckin' roof off like two dogs caged …"  
  
"Hey, look at the dreg. What does she think she's doing?"  
  
"I think they're calling it 'modern art'."  
  
Snickers.  
  
"Hey, dreg!"  
  
She continued carving with indifference. None of these pampered preppies knew what it was like to really live. Everything was handed to them on a silver platter. She'd been born into a well-to-do family herself. Her bloodline was one of detectives on both sides. But somehow she'd never felt that she'd fit in.  
  
"Grayson, I'm talkin' to you!"  
  
She looked up and removed her headphones. "Go stuff it up your fucking liposuctioned ass. Like I give a damn about your commercialized hypocrisy." Placing the headphones back over her ears, she ignored the laughter that followed. None of it mattered to her. None of them could understand what she went through every day. They welcomed the money their fathers handed them for shopping sprees, new cars, cosmetic surgery. She, Natalie Grayson, had come to despise the support money her father sent to her. Dick Grayson had loved her mother, dearly and deeply, and as soon as she was born refused to believe that Barbara Gordon had been faithful to him. Even though Natalie had his black hair at birth and his icy blue eyes, he ran away, a coward. For the first three years of her life, her godfathers had taken his place as her heroes, particularly Roy Harper and Garth. They helped her mother care for her, and Roy's daughter Liane quickly became a welcome playmate. She didn't understand then why her father didn't want to have anything to do with her, and by the time he came to his senses and accepted her, the ties that should have formed with Dick were instead tightly connected to Roy.  
  
Much of that was normal, in any case. But when her father was head of Interpol and her mother the Commissioner of Gotham City, it made her hide her true self. She did what she wanted to do, without mentioning her parents. In school she did the work required, nothing more, nothing less. Her unfortunate high scores on state tests, however, had her teachers hounding her to apply herself.  
  
"So this is what you do after school, Lili."  
  
"Look, this is legitimate, so whatever problem you have, fu--" Turning, she saw a familiar face and she stopped dead. "Uncle Roy, how long have you been there?"  
  
"Long enough to know that your focus is why you're so damn good. And watch your language."  
  
"Yeah, well, I can't do martial arts like you, or any of the other NJLAers." She shrugged, hitting stop on her CD player and tossing it into her bag.  
  
"So what? I happen to know that none of us can draw like that. You have a talent, Natalie. Don't lose sight of that. And that voice of yours…doesn't God want his angel back yet?" Roy grinned, punching her gently on the shoulder.  
  
"I'm not good enough to make a career out of it." Natalie muttered, smirking. "I'm not good enough for much of anything."  
  
"Don't say that. Look at Kyle."  
  
"He got lucky. And he's in advertising, so it doesn't count."  
  
"Do you know how strong you are, Natalie Gordon-Grayson?" He asked her.  
  
"I'm not that strong." She murmured, looking down at the numerous pink scars lining her arms and wrists. "I'm not even brave enough to be called a Gordon or Grayson."  
  
"Stop being so pessimistic." He told her. "Cutting aside, you are strong. Besides, if you'd wanted to do more, you'd have done it a long time ago, and then who would I tease about her drop-dead-gorgeous figure and skills? You got help and are better now."  
  
"I'm not being pessimistic." Natalie flashed a smile; one Roy said was distinctly Dick Grayson. "I'm not complaining, either. I'm just stating fact."  
  
"Well, so am I when I say you're damned good."  
  
She threw her lighter and knife into her pack and zipped it up. "Thanks."   
  
"Where are you off to now? It's kind of late to be running around on your own."  
  
She shook her head. Roy was constantly worried about her. "I'm going to work for a couple hours, then I've got to help Uncle Kyle ink his comics. One-on-one time, he said."  
  
"And by work you mean meeting those friends of yours?"  
  
She gave her godfather a pained look. "We're not delinquents, Roy."  
  
"Not to me, but last I checked, the police don't take kindly to teenagers jacking cars and returning them a few days later with…changes."  
  
"Look, we're not going to get caught. We're careful. Rab's even talking about going legit. After losing Diego and Mara…"  
  
"All I'm saying is to be careful."  
  
"We only improve the cars, Roy. Take poor families who can't afford to fix what cars they've got and do it for them. Besides, we're not doing that today. Only four a month, Roy, and we're up on quota. Anyway, I'm dancing."  
  
"So you are going to try and get into Julliard?"  
  
Nat rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but only because Twitch won't leave me alone about it." She muttered. "But I'm dancing my way. If they don't want me the way I am, they can take their priggish history of excellence and shove it up their--"  
  
"Natalie."  
  
"What? You always said a good hell or damn was necessary every once in awhile."  
  
"That's me, not you."  
  
"Oh." 


	2. Twitch, Rab, and Some Serious Issues

Disclaimer: This is based on chars created by DC Comics. The ones you don't recognize are probably mine, but I don't own this story, just so that's clear (in case you missed it the first time.). Also, the song used in the last chapter belongs to Eminem.  
  
A/N: Just so you know, Natalie does NOT know about her parents being a part of the JLA, i.e., Batgirl and Nightwing. That was a flub I'll fix when I get around to it. In the meantime…more!   
  
Natalie eventually convinced Roy that no, she wasn't going to vandalize downtown Gotham. Or play with her lighter by torching trash cans. Or steal cars. Or assault anyone. It was the usual negative list she had to give him. Hell, her mother was Commissioner, after all. Never mind that her birthfather was one of the heads of Interpol.   
  
She made her way down to the warehouse on the Gotham docks that she and her friends rented jointly. It was where they congregated after school, and where Natalie had her art studio and a small sectioned off space for her to rehearse for her audition at Julliard. I don't know how Twitch got me to agree to try out, she thought. It's not like I'd belong there. I don't belong anywhere. She heard the high-pitched tones of electrical wiring inside and grinned as she opened the door. He had beaten her.  
  
"Hey, man. How many times have you been electrocuted now?"  
  
The short, wiry blonde grinned, putting the wires of a small motor down and walking over. "Se--Seventeen times." He replied, twitching. "So how's my Torch?" He hugged her.  
  
"Good. How's the twitch?"   
  
"Never better! Haha!" Twitch tended to laugh. Something left over from his most recent electrocution, something to do with him trying to rig a small generator while the power was on. The jolt had knocked him out for a few hours, and to this day, his hair seemed to stand on end. A little gel made it presentable, but there was no getting it flat. "Cord--dell Carleton III is going places!"  
  
"I can't believe your parents named you that." Natalie replied. "You don't look like Cordell Carleton III."  
  
He twitched, then shrugged. "What can I say--haha!--it's been in the family for gen--erations." He went back to the table that had all kinds of motor parts and spare wires spread over it. "Besides, you don't look like Natalie Elaine G--gordon Grayson."  
  
Natalie winced. She hated it when people used her full name. "I prefer Torch." Almost absentmindedly, she dug into her pack and pulled out her lighter. Flicking back the lid, she lit it and ran her hand through it, smiling a little in silent pleasure as the flame licked her fingers. A slow, hot burn spread across the palm of her hand; on reflex she flinched, but from ease of practice, and partial enjoyment, she kept it there.  
  
"Damn, I'm never used to seeing you--do that."  
  
"Yo! Natalya, Twitch! You in here?"  
  
Natalie smiled and shut her lighter; Rab had arrived. "Yeah, old man! Where you been?"  
  
A tall, muscular black man with short dreadlocks and a goatee came over from around the corner and grinned. "Who you callin' old man, sister?"  
  
"23 is old, Rab."  
  
"Yeah, whatever." He shook his head. "So, we gonna see this audition routine?"  
  
"I just got here."  
  
"So?" Twitch grinned. "We wanna see. Come on, we won't say--anything!"  
  
"What's the track you're using?" Rab asked.  
  
"Eminem's "Lose Yourself.""  
  
"How do you dance to rap?" Twitch teased.  
  
"Oh, shut up, bastard." Natalie said. "Fine. But so help me God if one of you laughs I'll torch your ass." She walked over to the makeshift bench and unlaced her boots. Her soft-toe shoes were in a box underneath and she slid them on easily. Why was it so painful to do it? She wanted to forget about dancing, about how good it felt to just let go of all her problems. That was what had started this whole mess anyway. She'd met Twitch and Rab, Diego and Mara when she was fourteen, a freshman looking for a way to take out her frustration at her birthfather on society. She hadn't wanted to necessarily break the law, she loved her mother too much to do that to her. But she'd been young and stupid, and a dancer, with a body that was as muscled as it was curvy.   
  
She fell into the company of a senior named Josh, although he went by his gang name, Benz, when he noticed her after school in the gym, running through a modern routine. She'd never had the kind of attention that Josh gave her from anyone before, and she found that yes, she liked it. That same week, she met a transfer student from Juvee named Diego, who obviously had something on Benz, although he wouldn't say anything. He just said that she should stay away from him.   
  
Natalie took him at his word and began to watch Benz, analyzing his character with an eye as objective as a trained profiler's. She did the same with Diego, not sure if he was saying this to slander Benz, but found that she liked him more and more. But she didn't see him as anything more than a good, solid friend, whatever his rap sheet might be. Through Diego, she eventually she met Twitch, and then Mara, a sophomore who was addicted to men and their pleasures. Natalie knew then that she was probably going to pay for it someday, but she had no idea how right she would be. She continued to befriend them and Benz, enjoying the attention they gave her as a person, as a dancer, whatever. It was still attention.  
  
Then Benz asked her to join his gang one night, to get in on the heroin smuggling they were doing. He promised a tidy profit, as well as his protection. But, staying true to all that her mother had taught her as Commissioner of Gotham City, she told him no way in hell was she going to be a dealer, and the repercussions of going to see him alone weren't good. All because she'd been dancing that first afternoon…  
  
A/N: I'm doing this as I go--I know her little history but I don't want to give it all up in one go, that would just bite the big one…please read and review! Lemme know if you want anything done! 


	3. Buried Nightmares

A/N: Sorry this is so late in coming, for those who have actually read this…the more reviews I get, the faster I update.  
  
Chapter 3: Buried Nightmares  
  
Flashback  
  
Bound to this couch I lie in waiting  
  
Watching wind blown memories slip past my window sill  
  
Her steps were slow and steady, deliberate, pensive. Just as the music, her body pantomimed the rhythm and lyric of the song. As the pulse increased, so did her steps.  
  
I can't fall asleep, voice in my head disturbs me  
  
Waking nightmares keep have my cries fallen on deaf ears?  
  
Can you hear me or am I…  
  
Talking to myself again, is there anybody listening  
  
Are you taking this in, am I wasting my breath  
  
Tell me, is the wind in your sails worth everything you give  
  
Are you looking for something? Forgiveness?  
  
In her mind there was only one person she thought of as she danced. Dick Grayson. She was wasting her breath, wasting her time, and her own cries had fallen on deaf ears for fourteen years, and she was tired of that bastard ignoring her, tired of dealing with his new wife who hated her on the basis that she was his daughter by another woman.  
  
I leave it up to you, I guess I'm better off removed   
  
Because the situation's growing too thick, in your hands  
  
Could it have been something I said, or was it something that I did  
  
Did I ruin my chance? Have you written me off?  
  
Tell me where did I cross the line, and can I work my way back this time  
  
Will I always regret this decision?  
  
She had spent too many nights wondering what she had done wrong, that he would abandon her and her mother. It had to be her fault of course, because everyone told her that Dick had once loved her mother very much. Before she came along. No more. Her feet flew and she pounded out her verdict. She wouldn't waste her life wishing for the love he would never give her. She had her mother and she had Sam, who loved her even more than she could have hoped, though she was not of his blood.  
  
I leave it up to you  
  
I hope you find a good excuse because I've given about all that I can give  
  
In your hands  
  
I could try to count the times I've been through this in my mind  
  
But I'm running out of fingers and I don't have that much time.  
  
Her decision made, she exacted the last steps and stopped, breathing heavily.  
  
Then the sound of clapping hands met her ears.  
  
"Bravo."  
  
Josh Newport, otherwise known around school as Benz, was a handsome senior with black hair and brown eyes. He was one of the popular crowd, a jock, and quite rich. What was he doing there?  
  
She turned off the CD player and nodded. "Um, thanks."  
  
"You're really good." He flashed her that million dollar smile all the girls talked about during English class.   
  
Natalie hated to admit it, but he did make her insides a little warm. She flushed. "What are you doing here?"  
  
He shrugged. "Just taking a walk. I heard the music. It's not something I've heard before, but your dancing was well worth listening." He walked over and extended his hand. "Josh Newport. My friends call me Benz."  
  
She took it firmly. "Natalie Gordon Grayson."  
  
"The Commissioner's daughter? Well, I had no idea you were so talented."  
  
Why the hell was she soaking this up like a sponge? She knew he was full of it, but…she liked hearing it all the same. "Look, was there a point to this?"  
  
"A selfish one, I'm afraid. Would you…like to go get some coffee with me? My treat."  
  
That was how it had started. She liked his company, craved his attention. She knew now that it was because she was trying to make up for what she had been missing with Dick. It wasn't uncommon. But she discovered his…after school job of drug smuggling and wasn't about to follow him into that. She refused him, he raped her and beat her, leaving her for Diego and Rab to find outside their hangout on the pier when he was finished.  
  
She hadn't let anyone near her for the next month. That was when she started getting sick. He had gotten her pregnant.  
  
End Flashback  
  
"Come on, Torch! Let's see it!" Twitch's voice brought her back from her buried nightmare. Fine. If he wanted her to dance, she would dance. And she would, as the song said, lose herself in the music.  
  
A/N: Sorry this is so short, but more will come! I figured I'd give a little more this time as far as her background. Oh, and the song in this chapter is "In Your Hands" by Thrice. They rock, if you haven't heard them, check them out! Please! ^_^ My cousin is their manager, so I have to do all the shameless plugging I can! 


	4. Hidden Truths and Consequences

A/N: First of all, I just want to thank my AWESOME reviewers, Nos4a2returns, Tesubcalle, and Neptune. I have NEVER gotten that many reviews that are that long! Ever! Nos, it'd be great if you'd be my beta, but I'm not sure how that works…hmm…  
  
Also, you guys talked about this being kinda iffy on Canon. To set that straight, let me explain that this is based on a universe that my friend Carmen Wayne (she's awesome, check out HER stuff!) and I created together. It's got a lot of the same history, but there are some OCs we threw in there, and subsequently, our own history (I.e, Lian is a year or so older than Natalie, and she has a son named Kyle). I welcome any remarks about Canon history if it's off, but most chances are I have a reason for them.  
  
I'm open to any plot ideas! I AM planning to bring the illustrious Dicky into it, but give it some time, I need to establish stuff….  
  
You guys made my day!! You rock!! [throws cookies all over the place]  
  
Chapter 4: Hidden Truths and Consequences  
  
"Come on, Torch! Let's see it!" Twitch's voice brought her back from her buried nightmare. Fine. If he wanted her to dance, she would dance. And she would, as the song said, lose herself in the music.  
  
She hit the button on the CD player and took her place on the floor. She rocked slowly back and forth on the balls of her feet as the intro played, head down. Her steps were sure and solid as she crossed the floor. Her arms propelled her as she spun across it, blending traditional ballet with modern and jazz dance styles. She had done this hundreds of times, knew each movement intuitively, and it had become a sort of stress release over the years…  
  
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it  
  
You better never let it go, you only get one shot   
  
Do not miss your chance to glow  
  
this opportunity comes once in a lifetime  
  
She leapt into the air, kicking back and landing in a spin, dropping to the floor with one leg extended in front of her. She hardly wanted to do this for the rest of her life, despite what anyone said. It was far too competitive for her liking. She was auditioning only because Roy had told her she was good. Roy…He was her compass, he always had been. One word of encouragement from him would give her confidence for a month. There was a time it would have been her father, but--no, she wasn't about to start that again. She had put Dick Grayson, her father, behind her four years ago. She was through waiting for him to wake up. Her feet pounded the floor harder now, as she realized she was thinking about him.   
  
He's grown farther from home, he's no father,   
  
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter…  
  
She hated thinking about him. He had sent a card on her birthday every year, but she hadn't seen much of him in six years--the most time he had spent with her had been at her mother's wedding to Sam Young. There had been the brief conversations on the phone, as he tried to arrange for her to babysit her half-siblings, Dominique and Kale, so that he and Kory could go out. But he never called otherwise, unless he needed to talk to her mother. Roy had tried to convince her that he was only busy, and that he did care. She didn't see how he couldn't find time to call her and actually ask her how she was doing, instead of asking favors. She'd never asked any of him.  
  
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it  
  
You better never let it go, you only get one shot   
  
Do not miss your chance to glow  
  
this opportunity comes once in a lifetime  
  
Just as she was about to spin, a sharp pain pierced her abdomen, and she tripped forward. Shit, she thought, not right now, I told them it had gone away…  
  
"Natalya!" Rab rushed forward and caught her before she could hit the cold concrete. "Are you alright?"  
  
Gritting her teeth, she nodded. "I'm fine, Rab, I slipped, that's all."  
  
"No, you didn't." Twitch said softly. "Natalie, why didn't you tell us you were still having those pains? It's been four years!"  
  
"I'm on medication, they're not so bad…" She stood up and brushed herself off, avoiding Rab's disappointed look as she went into her knapsack to dig out the little orange tube.  
  
"It's not supposed to be bad at all, Natalie." He said. "Like Twitch said, it's been four years since you had the abortion. What kind of medication is it?"  
  
"Just pain medication. I'm fine." She opened the bottle and downed two of the pills.  
  
"Does your Mom know you're on it?" Twitch asked.  
  
"Not exactly. I don't want to talk about it." She made for the bench so she could take her shoes off, but Rab caught her arm.  
  
"I don't agree with abortion, Torch, but you were a special case. Have you even told your parents?"  
  
She was silent. If she denied it, it would only prolong the inevitable.  
  
"They don't know? You need to tell them!"  
  
"No! They don't need to know!" She wrenched out of his gentle grip and plunked down onto the bench, attacking the laces with pointed interest. Shit, shit, shit, she thought. It wasn't a decision she was proud of, and she'd been trying to hide it from the general public. After all, how would it look for the Commissioner's daughter to be pregnant out of wedlock?  
  
"Yes, they do! Have you told anyone? What about Roy?"  
  
"Especially not him."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because as far as he's concerned, that's how Lian wound up with little Kyle." Not that Roy loved Lian or Kyle any less, but he had been out for Ollie's blood when he found out about it. No doubt he'd be after Benz if he knew, using some his martial art knowledge but more than likely blasting him to oblivion with one of the many pieces from his private arsenal. Besides, she wanted to get Benz back herself. For what he'd done to her and what he'd done to her friends.  
  
There was a pointed silence between the three of them. "Look, I've got to go. I told my Uncle Kyle I'd help him ink some of his latest work."  
  
"Natalie, you need to tell someone." Rab said gently. "Or we will."  
  
That was not what she wanted to hear. She grabbed her bag and got to her feet. "I will. I'll see you later, okay? Let me know if there's a car we need to fix." Without another word, she swept out into the waning dusk.  
  
She was royally screwed.  
  
A/N: Sorry it's so short AGAIN, but I think I have a mini-plot in my head now. This may seem overdone, but you'll see where I'm going with this--please just be patient! I'm a college student with a killer Russian History class. Stupid pop quizzes…I'll leave you with some questions to ponder: Why hasn't she told anyone (aside from the guilt), what has Benz done to her friends, and will she hold to her word and tell someone? I'm considering doing the next chappy in Dick's pov with a little argument with Roy…what d'you think? If I get reviews, I shall review much faster! [Hint Hint] 


	5. You Can't Hide Who You Are

Disclaimer: With the exception of Natalie, Twitch, and Rab, Kyle belongs to Carmen Wayne, and everybody else is property of the geniuses at DC Comics.  
  
A/N: Okay, I finally figured out a way to describe the canon at this point--it's after Batman and before Batman Beyond--I'll get more into it in this chappy…  
  
Tesub--you rock, thank you so much! It means a lot that you like my stuff and think I'm decent at this…in fact, this chapter's just for you! ^_^  
  
Now, on with the story…  
  
Chapter 5: You Can't Hide Who You Are  
  
"I'm here to see Dick Grayson."  
  
"Your name, sir?"  
  
"Roy Harper. I don't have an appointment, but he'll see me."  
  
"I'm afraid without an appointment--sir!"  
  
Roy paid no attention to the wormy desk clerk. He looked about as spineless as one, and his suspicions were confirmed when he walked through the double doors and down the hall to Dick's office without any trouble. Grayson would have to wake up, and today was as good a day as any.  
  
Without so much as a knock, Roy burst through the door with the nameplate reading Dick Grayson, Department Head. "Dick, we need to talk."  
  
To Roy's delight, his entrance achieved the desired effect as Dick jumped to his feet, nearly spilling his coffee all over the scattered invoices on his desk. "Roy, what the hell are you doing here? How did you get in?"  
  
"I walked, how else?"  
  
"You don't just walk into Interpol!  
  
"Hate to tell you, 'Wing, but I just did. Now sit down, we need to talk." He closed the door and sank into the chair opposite Dick's desk, resting his feet on the furniture. When Dick hesitated, he continued, "You know I wouldn't bother you at work unless it was important, and don't tell me you don't have the time, you're the head of this whole goddamned operation."  
  
Raising an eyebrow, Dick sat down. "Is everything all right? Lian's handling Kyle well?"  
  
"Lian's fine. She's not why I'm here." God help him, he was about to pour salt on a wound, but it had to be done. He had been Dick's friend for years; he was a good man, but a lousy parent.  
  
"And why are you here, Roy?" Dick's blue eyes went back to the mountain of paperwork, and Roy put his feet down and leaned forward.  
  
"It's about Natalie, Dick."  
  
"She's doing fine, I spoke to Barbara last week." He remarked, not lifting his eyes.  
  
"Richard Grayson, if you do not look at me when I am speaking to you about your own daughter, I have no qualms about giving you a repeat performance of the beating you received nearly eighteen years ago!"  
  
For the second time in two minutes, Roy's bait worked. Dick's eyes snapped up to meet his, but it wasn't a pleasant expression on his features.  
  
"Harper, don't try my patience. I check up on Natalie every week, you know that."  
  
"Do you talk to her?" Roy demanded. His apathy was beginning to work a nerve. Good thing he wasn't armed. Much.  
  
"Well, no, but I can't. I work late, and when I can speak to her, she's either in school or at work."  
  
"Do you even know what she does at work?"  
  
"Babs said she works on cars. What's your point?"  
  
"She and her friends fix cars, all right." Roy muttered. "They steal the cars and fix them up without the consent of the owners. They return them, but as far as the law is concerned, they're breaking it."  
  
"What?" Dick cried. "Why the hell would she do that? She should know better than that!"  
  
"Well, you haven't exactly been around to teach her otherwise, have you?"  
  
The look of shame that crossed his friend's face was enough to make him sigh. It wasn't a happy truth, but there it was. He hardly knew his own daughter, despite the reports from himself and from Barbara. Even they weren't able to be around as much as they wanted.  
  
"She doesn't seem to want me around, does she?"  
  
Roy rubbed his temples. This was so heartbreaking he could hardly stand it. "Look, Dick. She doesn't hate you. She's made herself think that she does, so that you can't disappoint her anymore. It happens when somebody's not around. She's a bright girl, Dick. A really bright girl. And she's very interested in vigilantes." He didn't want to press the issue too much in light of the current barbs, but like everything else, it had to be at least placed on the table.  
  
"Is she?"  
  
"You and Barbara should tell her. Hell, I'd do it, but it's not my place."  
  
Dick grimaced. "Tell her what, Roy? That her mother and I were once the very things that we're trying to outlaw? She doesn't need to know about the things we did when we were kids, Harper. We were young and stupid."  
  
"What am I, then?"  
  
"Look, you know what I mean."  
  
"So what you're saying is that Natalie is a product of stupidity?"  
  
"Damn it, Harper, stop putting words into my mouth!" Dick yelled.  
  
"Then stop spouting bullshit!" He yelled back. "Did you ever stop to think maybe you might be able to explain why you're so opposed to it better if she knew? Or, God forbid you would find some common ground with the poor girl! Barbara brings us up at least twice a week, and every week, Natalie is right there defending us. I agree with you, Dick, it's not good for kids to get into, but you have to admit that it does some good. She recognizes that."  
  
"Then why is she doing something that's illegal?"  
  
Roy scowled and got to his feet. "You know, Dick, I've known you a long, long time, but I don't think you've ever been so goddamned full of yourself and blind to the needs of others. You may have been a cocky son of a bitch when you were wearing the mask, but you cared about our family. Your family. I don't know how to tell you this, Dick, so I'll just come out and say it! That girl is slipping away from you, by no fault of her own, because you are a sorry excuse for a father, too scared to face what you are!"  
  
He wasn't going to last long if he stayed. So he turned on his heel and left before Dick could do anything to stop him. Strange how they'd all changed so much in just a few short years. Dick wasn't this thick-headed, not normally. But bring Natalie into the equation, and he regressed about thirty years, acting like a complete and utter child, instead of the capable and caring--and he was caring, Roy had seen him with Dominique and Kale--adult that he was. If he was going to sway Dick one way or another, he would need reinforcements.  
  
And reinforcements meant Barbara Gordon.  
  
A/N: Okay, so again, short. But I rather like writing this way. More updates and such. Tesubcalle, I hope this is what you were wanting. As to the way I wrote Dick and Roy, I hope it was in some small way accurate--yeah, Dick's being a jerk, kinda, but he's got his reasons. You'll see… 


	6. Bittersweet Vignettes

Disclaimer: The usual. Anyone you recognize is NOT mine. They belong to the peeps at DC Comics--I wish I had the talent to write for them! But I don't, ha!  
  
A/N: Thanks for your wonderful support of the last chapter--for a minute there I was wondering how everyone would react to the fallen "St. Dick" as Nos has coined (heh, St. Dick…I'm archiving that one…it may just pop up in a chapter, if you'll allow?). I promise, I have a purpose to all this! It's just that I find it hard to write long chappies with the style of this story, so…there ya go.  
  
Coincidentally, Calle wanted a background, so…since I actually am able to get it to FIT, without further ado…the backstory!  
  
Chapter 6: Bittersweet Vignettes  
  
It was well after nine when Barbara walked through the door--she was early. Roy had expected to wait at least another two hours. He had to admit she was dedicated. She always had been. Dedicated, caring, and stubborn to a fault. Funny how Natalie was turning out the exact same way, albeit through a different path. It was those qualities that attracted Dick to her in the first place, aside from her stellar looks, which Natalie also inherited.  
  
Bracing himself for the lecture that was sure to ensue due to his presence in her house--he didn't have a key, after all--he plastered on the Harper grin that he was all too famous for.  
  
The lights flicked on.  
  
"Roy, what are you doing in my house?"  
  
"Isn't it technically an apartment?"  
  
She smiled, dumping her bag by the couch. "Good to see you, too. I'm afraid you missed Natalie. She called me at work to tell me that she'll be staying at Kyle's tonight."  
  
"That's great! You and Sam will get some time alone, if he ever gets here."  
  
"That would be nice, except Sam's in Chicago on business."  
  
Roy noticed the wistful look in her eye and sighed. It had been far too long between chats. He should have known Sam would be out of town. "Well, in that case, you get a pure and unadulterated dose of me." He winked at her.   
  
Barbara laughed. "I hardly think you could call yourself pure or unadulterated, Roy." She mused. "Still, I'm not one to refuse good company."  
  
"I can dream." Roy sighed. "Besides, I'm not here to see Natalie. I'm here to see you."  
  
"Well, there's one I haven't heard in awhile. Do you want something to drink?"  
  
He contemplated how nice a good shot of vodka would be right about now, but this was the very worst time to go getting smashed, no matter how much he wanted to. "If you've got coffee, I'd be obliged."  
  
"Coffee? You're refusing alcohol? What's going on?" Barbara's eyebrow went up and her green eyes seemed to bore into him. Damn, she was good.  
  
"I went to see Dick today. We need to talk."  
  
Comprehension dawned and she frowned. "In that case, I think I'll get some coffee, too. Black. Just let me change out of this." She motioned to the navy pantsuit she wore. It suited her well enough--just the right combination of command and feminine appeal. Hell, if she weren't already married and connected to his best friend through a child, he would have taken chance with her. Funny how things worked out. He was now content and honored to be Natalie's godfather and Barbara's close personal friend.  
  
He had never understood why Dick hadn't snatched her up the second he had the chance. If anything, Babs' news that she was carrying his child should have swayed him more. For some bizarre reason, the news had had the opposite effect, and Roy intended to find out why.  
  
Barbara emerged from the kitchen--which was coincidentally accessible from the bedroom--in a very tasteful pajama set and robe, with two mugs of black coffee in her hand. "You wanted to speak to me about Dick?" She handed one mug to him and he nodded.  
  
"Thanks. Yeah, I went to speak to him about Natalie today. He's a pigheaded son of a bitch, you know." He took a long sip of his coffee and studied her face. He didn't want to upset her by bringing up old wounds.  
  
"He can be, Roy, but he's not always. I can't…blame him for the way he acts. After all, he hasn't exactly been around to see Natalie grow up." She sank onto the couch and drank some of her own coffee.  
  
"He should have been. For you, at the very least." Roy was clutching his mug rather tightly, but he couldn't help it. For God's sake, Dick had loved this woman!  
  
"Perhaps, but it's not as if it was all his fault. It takes two to tango, as a friend once said." She sighed.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"You."  
  
Roy sighed. He had wound up with Lian in much the same way Barbara had gotten stuck alone with Natalie. Of course, his evening with Cheshire was just as much his fault as hers, and he would never have allowed that woman to raise his little girl. "Babs…what happened? I mean, the night you told him?"  
  
Babs traced the rim of her mug with a finger, smiling sadly into her reflection in the black liquid. "I was only twenty-two, Roy. I was scared witless. I wasn't married and I was pregnant, hang who the father was. I couldn't support myself and a child, not on my own, and I wasn't too keen on seeing my father's reaction. He was the Commissioner, after all. His daughter was supposed to know better. Looking back, premarital sex isn't worth the emotional scars…"  
  
Roy leaned forward and took her hand, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "You didn't give her up, Babs. You kept her. That's what matters."  
  
"I told him the week after I found out…don't ask me why I waited so long, I was scared." She sighed. "I sat him down privately, when we were at his apartment, after our date."  
  
"Yeah, you'd gone to dinner. Dick said you were sick, and you left early."  
  
Babs nodded. "We sat down on the couch, and I was so nervous, I nearly got sick all over again. He wanted to know why I'd been distant since the last time we…were together. The hormones were going crazy at that point, you know how it is, and I started to cry. He took it the wrong way, and asked if I wanted to end it. Of course I didn't want to end it! That's all I could say. He kept asking me what I wanted then, and I got very quiet as I told him I was pregnant." She sighed heavily.   
  
Roy could see tears glistening in her eyes, and he moved next to her on the couch, giving her a firm, friendly hug. "Sam will have to deal with this, you need a hug right now."  
  
Barbara chuckled and wiped her eyes. "The second those words left my mouth, he…changed. He didn't say anything, he just…left. Walked out, and left me there on the couch."  
  
"That was it?" Roy asked, incredulous. Dick had returned from that date in a sour mood, but he'd never imagined Grayson would just walk out on Babs like that.  
  
"That was it. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't hear any of it. He somehow got it into his head that I'd been unfaithful…but I wasn't, I never, I mean, he was the only one, then! He was the only one, until Sam came along."  
  
"I know he was, I know." He remembered Dick's rantings and defensive speeches. They were all bullshit, but Roy figured he was just dealing with the shock. He thought he would snap out of it. He didn't, not until after Natalie was born, and even then, it had taken the physical intervention of Roy, Kyle, Garth, and Wally to convince him to get over it.  
  
"I got over him, Roy…it wasn't easy, but I got over him. And now I have Natalie, and I love her more than anything. And Sam…Sam is so…wonderful with her! You'd hardly know he wasn't her real father…"  
  
Roy squeezed her tightly. "Young is doing a great job. Natalie always has good things to say about him, and about the both of you. She knows you both love her."  
  
"I wish she could understand that Dick does, too. And he does, Roy, he really does." She sat forward and rubbed her temples. "He and I have our differences, but those differences don't need to be transferred to Natalie."  
  
"No, they don't. No, they don't…"  
  
A/N: Okay, that should clear up at least some of the confusion concerning Dick's little attitude problem. I will try hard to have this updated by the first or second of the month, but no promises…Next chapter: For the Love of the Father 


	7. For The Love Of The Father

Disclaimer: As much as I would love to, I do NOT own this. I mean, the plot's mine, and the OC's are mine, but the ones you recognize…[sigh] Not mine.  
  
A/N: Okay, because I was guilted, here's an update before the first of the month (hey, I don't have class until noon today…I love choir…)  
  
Chapter 7: For The Love Of The Father  
  
The halogen lamp over Kyle's desk gave Natalie just enough light to work on some sketches of her own as the moon rose in the sky. She'd been drawing for nearly four hours--it was well after ten--and was happy to have something to throw herself into. Kyle had offered to let her stay over so that they could have some of the much needed one-on-one time. She had to admit, she didn't see him as much as she wanted to.  
  
"Are you still drawing, Lili?"  
  
She smiled in spite of herself. "Kyle, I'm not five any more."  
  
"So more's the pity." He sighed. "You grew up way too fast."  
  
"I thought this was supposed to be bonding time, not a love fest." She chuckled, blending the charcoal on her paper into a fine, soft gradient.  
  
"Okay, so I'm getting old and succumbing to senility. I'm allowed. Let's see what you've got there."  
  
She tried to cover her work, but Kyle was much to fast and snatched it off the drafting table, holding it up at the edges so he wouldn't smudge the fresh marks. Natalie had started working with just random lines, but somehow the picture in her mind gave way to her hand, and there in front of her was a portrait of Dick Grayson.  
  
"Wow…and you're auditioning at Julliard? I could easily get you into Pratt here in New York."  
  
"Don't say anything." She muttered, taking it back from him and placing it in front of her again. It wasn't finished.  
  
"Okay…Listen, do you want something to drink?" Kyle asked.  
  
He wanted to say something, and she knew he wouldn't wait long. "Sure. Whatever's fine."  
  
"How about a couple of Cuba Libres?"  
  
Her head snapped to the right to meet his eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be the responsible one?"  
  
"I am being responsible. You're drinking with a family member." He winked. "Besides, this is our bonding night, right? Why not have a little fun? Or don't you remember what that is?" He moved to tickle her middle, but she instinctively and visibly shied away. "Natalie, what's wrong?"  
  
Shit. This wasn't her day. "Nothing. Sorry, I just didn't want to be tickled." She tried to laugh it off, but knew Kyle would see right through it.  
  
"All right then…I'll just go get the drinks…finish up there, you're in for a night of some of the greatest films ever."  
  
"What kind?"  
  
"Animated, of course!" He smiled before disappearing into the kitchen.  
  
She chuckled and shook her head. Well, it was a reprieve, at the very least. "God help us. I wish Jen was here!" She called into the kitchen.  
  
"Coincidentally, so do I!" He called back.   
  
Natalie could hear him cracking the tabs of coke cans and the fizz as he poured them into glasses. Taking one final look at the picture, which wasn't half bad, considering it was from memory, she tacked it to the cork board above his desk and slid down from the chair.  
  
She walked over to the coffee table to see what animated movies he had in mind. Apparently it was Miyazaki night. Spirited Away, Laputa (Castle In the Sky), Monoke Hime (Princess Mononoke) and…My Friend Totoro? She glanced in the direction of the kitchen and shook her head. Kyle really was just one big kid, despite his efforts to hide it. Of course, she adored Miyazaki's work on several levels, but something about seeing a grown man watching the anime made her laugh. It was refreshing. About time someone recognized his work as film for adults as well as kids.  
  
Natalie plunked down onto the couch just as Kyle emerged with two glasses. Handing one to her, he asked, "So, which one first?"  
  
It wasn't an easy choice. They were all excellent films. Considering her mood, she answered finally, "Spirited Away. Please tell me this is the subtitled version."  
  
"Of course!" Kyle cried. "That you would accuse me of buying dubbed Miyazaki, Natalie! I'm hurt!"  
  
She gave him a shove as he got up to put the movie on.   
  
When he sat back down, he took a swig of his cola and rum. "So…Natalie, do you want to talk to me about something?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You've been talking about Dick an awful lot lately. Is everything okay?"  
  
"Shh, the movie's starting."  
  
It was lame, but she really did want to watch the movie. She hadn't seen it in a long time. She missed Chihiro/Sin, Yubaba, and the others. Miyazaki's films were always a wonderful escape from harsh reality.  
  
"We'll talk more after the movie, then."  
  
They didn't. They watched Spirited Away, then Princess Mononoke, and then Kyle claimed choice and popped in My Friend Totoro.  
  
It wasn't one of her favorites, but she had an idea why Kyle put it in at three in the morning. It was a simple story about two girls living with their father in the Japanese countryside, working together to keep the house in order, since their mother is in the hospital. The youngest girl, May, comes across tree spirits called Totoros and has adventures with them. Fairly standard.  
  
Halfway through, Kyle asked again. "Natalie, is there something you wanted to talk about?"  
  
Whether it was the early hour or the effects of three Cuba Libres, she muttered, "What's wrong with me?"  
  
Kyle frowned and paused the movie. "Nothing's wrong with you, sweetie."  
  
Natalie bit her lip and slumped into the couch. "Then why does he hate me so much?"  
  
Kyle drew her into a strong hug. "He doesn't hate you, Natalie. He doesn't hate you."  
  
Her eyes stung. "Then why doesn't he call me, or visit, something?"  
  
"I don't know. He's a very poor father, but he does love you."  
  
"That's what everyone says!" Natalie snapped, drawing her knees up to her chest. "If he loved me, he'd show it, wouldn't he?"  
  
Kyle sighed. "Natalie, you have been so strong for so long…it's okay to cry. It's okay to miss him. It's okay to want him to be around."  
  
"But I don't want him around! Not if he's going to make empty promises!"  
  
"Is that really what you want? For him to go away permanently?"  
  
She rested her chin on her knees. "No…but nothing I do will change the fact that he never wanted me. Better to pretend he doesn't bother me than to live in this hell of waiting for him to decide to be my Dad."  
  
He pulled her into an even tighter hug, if that was possible. "You're right, no one deserves to go through that. But Dick has his reasons. And he does love you."  
  
She turned her head into his chest and began to cry. She tried to stop herself, but she cried anyway. She needed to. No matter what she told herself, she still wanted Dick Grayson, her dad, to love her. She wanted him to hug her the way Kyle was hugging her now, wanted him to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay.  
  
But he never did. He had said maybe ten words to her in a year.  
  
"He's a bastard, I'll give you that." Kyle nodded.  
  
"Did I…just say that out loud?" She gasped, half choking on her tears.  
  
"I don't mind. You go ahead and cry. I think we've had enough movies for the night."  
  
So she did. For the first time in four years, she cried for her father. And as her sobs quieted and sleep claimed her, she marveled at how much Kyle, Roy, Garth and Wally really did care about her. They helped, but they could never replace Dick, her father. No one could, not even Sam. And for the first time in four years, she knew it was okay to think about it like that.  
  
A/N: There you go, Calle! Heh, all that in under an hour. Hooray for me! And don't worry, we'll get to Dicky soon enough. First, we need some serious comedic relief, I'm getting depressed reading my own stuff! 


	8. It All Comes Down To This

Disclaimer: See the last seven chapters. I'm too lazy to type it all out. None of this belongs to me.  
  
A/N: Man, I'm horrid! At least two typos in the last chapter! Grr…the title of the movie is Mononoke Hime, or Princess Mononoke. Sorry about that. Heh, I'm proud of myself, four chapters in a week! And all because my wonderful reviewers are taking the time out of their busy days to read my stuff! [sniff, tear] I love you guys!  
  
Also, this is an incredibly short chappie, because Chapter 9 will be bringing in St. Dick, and I will be posting ASAP after this one. I just want to get it up. I DO have a plan…  
  
Chapter 8: It All Comes Down To This  
  
Something changed for Natalie after that night at Kyle's. It was nothing so extreme as to make her permanently cheerful--God forbid. The last thing she wanted to be was some mindless zombie with a fake smile plastered on her face. But it did, to some extent, improve her mood, and even Rab and Twitch's reminders about telling her parents about the abortion over the next few weeks didn't really phase her. With or without Dick Grayson, life was still good. Messed up, but good.  
  
Amazing what a good cry would do. Natalie still wasn't ready to believe that Dick loved her or cared about her more than he let on--it wasn't an easy habit to break--but somehow, it was easier to put it behind her. It helped to have distractions at school, whether it was homework or the mural she was making on the main stair. She was even beginning to look forward to her audition at Julliard in June.  
  
"You'll knock 'em dead, Torch." Twitch grinned one evening. Natalie, Twitch and Rab sat in her apartment with Three Doors Down playing on the stereo and a game of Risk spread across the coffee table.  
  
"Who, France or Ukraine?"  
  
Rab laughed. "You know what he means, Natalya! Julliard, girl!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah…" She replied, letting a small smile pry at the corner of her mouth.  
  
"You've been in a much better mood lately, girl. What happened?"  
  
"I told you, I talked with my Uncle."  
  
"Torch, we get that part." Twitch said. "Does that mean you told him what happened to you?"  
  
She sighed. Why? Why did she have to be plagued with friends like these? "Not exactly…"  
  
"Natalie!"  
  
"What? I'll tell them, don't worry about it!"  
  
"You've been saying that for four years. Either you tell them tonight, or first thing tomorrow, we will." Twitch said. "This isn't something you screw around with, Torch. He raped you! He hurt you, God damn it! And you're still having pain from the abortion you had four years ago because of what he did! How can you not tell anyone?"  
  
"I told you, you ass." Natalie muttered, moving her pieces over. "I attack Ukraine from the north. I get three die, you get two."  
  
"Screw the game!" Twitch cried, shaking violently and sending the board across the room.  
  
"Twitch, man, chill." Rab said quietly.  
  
"No, Rab! She's hurting herself, and no one knows! Her parents are two of the most powerful people in Gotham! Well, her mom, at least. Her father's a fucking head of Interpol! They might as well be vigilantes for all the power they have!"  
  
"You know, saying that will bring them down on us, man."  
  
"You think I'm really scared of--of Arsenal, or the Flash, or Nightwing?" Twitch spat, enunciating the last name with a cruel chuckle. "Her parents can DO something, but she's not saying anything!"  
  
"Twitch." Natalie's voice was quiet, but dangerously so. "It's our own fucking fault if any one of those vigilantes come down on us--they are bringing people who defy the law to justice, and I respect them for that. We're no better than Benz is, with what we're doing, whether we're meaning well or not. So just back. Off."  
  
"Natalie, we're going to go legit, after this month." Rab replied gently.  
  
"Why not now, Rab?" She asked. "Why not now, and offer services for a small fee, low enough that they can afford? It's not like we're getting any compensation as it is. So why not do it legally? What's stopping us? I don't know, maybe Natalie actually had an attack of conscience, God forbid, but I'm tired of living on both sides…" She got up from the sofa and began picking up the pieces of the game from the carpet.   
  
"Excuse me? We're getting off topic!" Twitch yelled.  
  
Rab moved to help her and glared at Twitch. "Dude, you're not going to accomplish shit by yelling."  
  
"Yelling about what?"  
  
The color drained from Natalie's face as Barbara Gordon's voice came from the entry way. She gave the two men a pleading look. "Nothing Mom! We were just having a disagree--" A pain hit her suddenly and swiftly, and she cursed herself again. Weren't these pills supposed to work? She couldn't let her mother see her like this!  
  
"Are you all right, Natalie?" Barbara asked, coming into the living room. "Rab, Twitch, hello."  
  
"Hello, Commissioner." Rab nodded.  
  
"I'll be fine, Mom. I just need to go to the bathroom real quick." Thinking fast, she mouthed 'cramps' to her mother before disappearing down the hall and into said room. Well, it wasn't a total lie…She could hear her mother speaking to Rab and Twitch through the door. Good God, please let them be quiet about it…  
  
"Everything is alright, isn't it?" Barbara asked again, eyeing the bathroom door.  
  
"Well--"  
  
"Sure, Mrs.Young--er, or is it Ms. Gordon?" Rab cut Twitch off as he got to his feet.  
  
"Either is fine."  
  
"Yeah, things are cool. Twitch just had a tremor and the board went, well, everywhere."  
  
She loved Rab. If she weren't opposed to swapping spit, she'd have kissed him right there. Twitch was well-meaning, but sometimes he let it get the better of him. Rab, at least, had the foresight to understand that she needed to do it herself. After all, they had given her the evening. Oh, God…  
  
As Natalie stepped into the living room, she knew she would have to say something. Something to keep Twitch and Rab from spilling it all. Her face pale from the pain that still racked her body, she took a deep breath.  
  
"Guys, I think you need to go. My mom and I have stuff to talk about." 


	9. The Musings Of An Ass A Reconciliation, ...

A/N: Okay, sorry for the cliffhanger at the end there, it WILL be resolved, but I am changing tactics, here. I'm going to do this split down into two. The first part is the long awaited St. Dick thought process. The other…well, you'll see.  
  
Chapter 9: The Musings Of An Ass/A Reconciliation, Of Sorts  
  
Dick Grayson was not happy when the phone by his bed rang. The digital clock beside it read 2:37 a.m. He hadn't had even a full hour of sleep yet. Hell, he'd just ignore it. He wasn't about to talk to someone when he couldn't string together a coherent thought.  
  
No luck. It kept ringing. And ringing. And ringing.  
  
Kory stirred beside him. "Dick, just get the phone…" She muttered, rolling onto her side and covering her head with a pillow.  
  
Groaning, he groped for it and put it to his ear.  
  
"RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW!"  
  
He winced and held the phone away from his now ringing ear. "Babs?"  
  
"You're damn right! Do you know what your wife has been doing to Natalie?"  
  
"Barbara, slow down, slow down…" He sat up and put his free hand to his temple. He was fairly sure he heard Natalie protesting in the background.  
  
"I cannot believe it escaped my attention, but then she has your flair for hiding things. Why didn't you do something about those bruises?"  
  
"Bruises? What--" He didn't get the chance to finish as he heard scuffling, then Natalie's smooth alto, "It's nothing, Dad. I'm fine. Go back to--" The phone switched hands again, and he heard Barbara cry, "It is NOT fine! Dick, while I know Kory doesn't like me for obvious reasons, there is no reason why her feelings should transfer to OUR daughter!" He winced again, as she placed emphasis on the "our." "Now, I'm sure she might not have meant it, but she apparently grabs Natalie quite hard--she is Tamaranean, after all--and Natalie has had to hide the bruises on her arms and wrists! How could it escape your attention? And why the hell haven't you talked to her about it?"  
  
"Barbara, I had no idea this was happening!" Kory was injuring Natalie? He took a glance at his wife, who just groaned.  
  
"Dick, hang up the phone. It's 2:30 in the morning. You can call her tomorrow."  
  
He covered the receiver. "Kory, go back to sleep." Going back to the phone, he stood. "I had no idea, Babs, otherwise I would have done something. You know I would never let her get hurt."  
  
"It's a little late for that, Dick."  
  
There was no malice in the words, but Dick felt as though he'd been stabbed. This was the third time in two weeks he'd been accused of being a poor father. First by Roy, with that horrid spectacle at the office, then Kyle had called him last Sunday to tell him that his daughter had broken down in his arms and bawled herself to sleep because of him. Now he was getting a guilt trip from her mother. "I'll be right over, Barbara." He hung up the phone and got dressed gingerly. He walked downstairs and wrote a note for Kory, in case she got up, and began the long drive to Gotham.  
  
One thought hit him suddenly as he turned the corner and got onto the highway.  
  
Natalie had called him…Dad.  
  
God, what had he done?  
  
He admittedly had handled the news of Barbara's pregnancy poorly. More than poorly, he'd been an ass. But he never imagined that she would actually get pregnant! They used protection, after all! Still, any method was only ninety-nine percent effective. He wasn't ready to be a father, so he denied it. Granted, Barbara wasn't ready to be a mother, either, and she had so much more to deal with, since she was actually carrying Natalie. He was an idiot. He refused to believe that it had happened, and pushed her out. He still loved her, so very much, but there was no way she could have gotten pregnant by him. He had been convinced.  
  
He later realized just how many nights he had reduced Barbara to tears because of his apathy, his callousness. His Barbara. He had sworn never to hurt her, and he had failed. The shame of it made him even more reluctant to face her, even thought it did her little good. He convinced himself of another fact: she was better off without him.  
  
But he was the first one she called when she went into labor. He went, despite the fact that he was terrified of hurting her more. She apparently didn't mind him being there, in fact, she told him that she was happy to have him with her. He wasn't sure if it was the drugs talking or not, but when Natalie was finally born, there was nothing that could compare to the immense pride that welled as he held her in his arms. He never should have doubted Barbara. She had his black hair then, and his eyes. She was an angel. Right then and there, he decided he would do anything to protect this little thing, this person he had created with Barbara.  
  
So why had he pulled away immediately after she was born? Why had Roy, Kyle, Garth and Wally had to beat some sense into him, literally? Because that very same day, the day he got down on his knees and begged for Barbara's forgiveness, she had told him that it could never work between them.  
  
She had refused him.  
  
He understood now, why she made the decision she did. But he hadn't, then. And he let the beginnings of a grudge be nursed by the pain of that rejection. He reverted back to his safety net: the both of them were better without him. He sent child support for Natalie, and gifts on her birthday, but he rarely saw her. He figured it was better for her that way.  
  
He was such a bastard.  
  
------------------------------  
  
Natalie didn't want to think. She couldn't believe what was happening. She had been gearing up to tell her mother about what happened with Benz, when her mother noticed the bruises on her wrists and forearms. She was wearing her tank pajamas, and had completely forgotten to retrieve her robe before her mother got home. She hadn't even meant to bring up the situation with Kory. The woman was overprotective and spiteful, fine. She didn't want to make trouble, at least not any more than there already was. So what did she do? Pulled out her sketchbook and curled up on the couch. At least it gave her something to look at besides her mother's eyes.  
  
"Sweetheart, why didn't you come to me sooner? Why didn't you tell your father?" Barbara asked, coming in from the kitchen with fresh mugs of cocoa. Why were all serious talks accompanied by hot or alcoholic beverages?  
  
"Mom, I told you, it's no big deal, really. I don't want to make any more trouble than I already am." She paused to pick up her kneaded eraser, "Besides, that's not what I needed to talk to you about…" There was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, but her hand was being forced. If she didn't tell her mother tonight, her friends would. Besides, she could always crash at Kyle's or Roy's in the event of serious violence. No, she couldn't. They'd be out for Benz's blood because her mother would call them first thing in the morning.  
  
"Oh?" Barbara frowned. "What is it?"  
  
Natalie took a deep breath, her hand poised over her work. "You're not going to like it, but you have to promise not to tell anybody, and don't stop me until I'm finished. I…don't really want to talk about it, but Rab and Twitch are getting all noble and I figured you'd better hear it from me…" She proceeded to attack the paper with the eraser, pulling out the highlights from the potted plant across the room.  
  
She saw Barbara's eyes widen a bit, but otherwise she said nothing.  
  
"That pain I had earlier is from a surgery I had freshman year. They screwed it up, so now I'm on pain medication for the rest of my life, unless they find some way to fix it. I--"  
  
"Surgery? Why did you have surgery? How could you get it without--"  
  
"Mom! Please!" She cried. "This is going to be hard for me to say and you to hear, so just…just stop, please." Tears stung her eyes, and she took a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing softly. "I had an abortion. It's not something I'm proud of, but I was scared, and I didn't want to tell you that your only daughter had gone and wound up like you--knocked up and unmarried. I didn't want to jeopardize all that you've worked for, because you know how the press is, they want to find as much dirt these days as they can, and…I didn't want anyone to know. I just wanted to forget that it happened…" A stray tear trickled down her cheek and in an instant, Barbara was sitting next to her, pulling her into the protective hug she used to use when Natalie woke from nightmares, rocking her back and forth.  
  
"Natalie…oh, sweetie…" She dropped a kiss into her daughter's red hair, "Who…who was the father?"  
  
"No one that I wanted anything to do with…I didn't want to have any memory of him, of what he did to me…" For some reason, Natalie found in impossible to let it go with her mother. Her voice shook with emotion, with the hatred and self loathing she had carried for destroying her child's life--never mind who the father was. It was her child. And now, because of the botched abortion, she would never be able to carry another child of her own. "What I did to myself, trying to get rid of him…"  
  
Barbara stiffened, and looked into Natalie's eyes. "Natalie, are you saying that someone raped you?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about that right now." She tore her eyes away from her mother's shining ones and turned back to her drawing, which was effectively ruined by tear droplets scattered across the page.  
  
"Natalie, why didn't you tell me? Or tell--tell someone, at least?" Barbara blinked away tears. "You know any one of us would have helped you."  
  
"And done what, Mom? It was a date rape, my word against his. And anyway, Benz is protected. You can't touch him."  
  
"Benz? You mean that boy who is in that gang?"  
  
She was silent.  
  
"He did this to you? Honey, of course we can get him! On several counts!"  
  
"No, you can't! Mom, he's got amnesty or something like it. His parents are internationals, he's completely untouchable! Why do you think he's able to run a heroin smuggling operation right under your nose? Why do you think you're never able to get enough evidence to put him away?" She got up and walked to the opposite end of the room, facing the wall, and trying to reign in the sobs that wanted to escape.  
  
Then the doorbell rang. She spun around. "Mom, please, you can't tell Dad. Not yet. Not right now. Please."  
  
Barbara looked torn, but she dabbed her eyes and nodded, going to open the door. "Hello, Dick. Come on in."  
  
Dick nodded and stepped into the entry way, looking haggard in a pair of sweatpants and a T shirt under a heavy jacket. "I'm sorry it took so long, but it couldn't be helped." He paused, looking around. "Where's Sam?"  
  
"Out of town on business."  
  
"Isn't he ever around?" Dick's voice sounded genuinely concerned, which was something of a surprise for Natalie. She dried her eyes and stepped into the middle of the room, so she could observe her parents.  
  
"Of course he is, Dick. This is just a busy part of the year for him. Don't worry, he takes good care of me." Barbara replied.  
  
"I'm sure he does." Dick nodded. His eyes met hers. It was like looking into a mirror. "Natalie."  
  
She bit her lip and grabbed her left elbow, avoiding his gaze for a moment. "Hi Dad." Well, this was awkward.  
  
He walked toward her. "Natalie, nothing I can say can make up for the way I've acted over the past eighteen years. It is inexcusable. But…I do love you, sweetheart. Can I get a hug?" He sounded so hopeful, and she wanted it so badly…she walked slowly forward and let him hug her.  
  
His arms felt so good, closed around her in the first real gesture of affection in at least six years. Her frustration seemed to melt away and she just enjoyed the moment. Slowly, timidly, she tested the waters and eased her arms around him. She saw him smile down at her and hug her tighter, which only made her grip him as tightly as she could. She couldn't hold the tears back any longer, and she released them into his jacket. "I'm sorry…"  
  
He didn't pull away. Instead he kissed the top of her head. "No, Natalie. I'm the one who should be sorry. You were only acting off of what I did."  
  
This had to be a dream. Half an hour ago, she had been convinced that she did NOT want her father to get dragged into this mess. Half an hour ago, she had been certain where she stood in her relationship with him. Now he was hugging her, apologizing! Who was this man and what had he done with the real Dick Grayson?  
  
"I named you, you know. You were the best Christmas gift I ever got."  
  
What? She pulled away to look up at him, then at her mother. She nodded, and while Natalie could see tears still glistening, she was fairly sure it wasn't because she was sad. Dick led her over to the couch and sat down with her, taking off his jacket and laying it over the armrest.  
  
"You were my world, Natalie. It's just that, when your mother decided it wasn't going to work between us--and listen to me before you blame your mother, it's not her fault." Dick admonished, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at her. "I assumed you would be better off without knowing me. At the time I thought your mother had her reasons, and her reasons had to do with the way she thought I would treat you. It wasn't the case at all, but then I've always been stubborn. When your Mom married Sam, I thought that was the clincher. She had found a new dad for you, someone you loves you very much and takes good care of the both of you."  
  
"I guess the fact that I wanted to see you slipped your mind?" It was a cruel question, but she needed it to be answered. For her sanity, at the very least.  
  
Dick sighed. "I was an ass, I know it. But…I've had some sense knocked into me over the last few weeks, literally, and if you'd let me…I'd like to try and give this another try. I have no place to ask this, particularly now that you're an adult and a fully capable young woman…one I am proud to have as my daughter." He took her chin in his hand and made her look at him. "What do you say?"  
  
That clinched it. This was a dream. She reached over and pinched herself on the arm. "Ow!"  
  
Barbara frowned. "What was that for?"  
  
"Well, at the risk of sounding frighteningly cliché, I was afraid this was a dream." She replied, offhand. Turning back to Dick, she added, "That's all well and good, but…I need to know you're not just saying it. I need to know that you are going to be there, this time."  
  
"I'm a busy man, Natalie. I have many responsibilities at work. But if you ever need me, I promise I will be there. I'm the head of the department. I can do that sort of thing." He smiled at her. "And as for the bruises…" He gently took her arm in his hand and looked it over, wincing. "I will make sure that this never happens again. I can't imagine Kory meaning to do this, but she is a lot stronger than she realizes, and sometimes she gets carried away. It's no excuse. I promise things will be better."  
  
Looking into her father's eyes, Natalie realized that like her, he was completely vulnerable. Whether it was years of being around the GCPD or just hearing her mother go on about profiling, she could read this man quite easily, for all that she hadn't seen him in ages. She said nothing, and just nestled into the crook of his arm. "Okay."  
  
Smiling, Barbara replied, "I'm going to bed, then. You two can have some time to talk. Natalie, we'll discuss the other thing in the morning, before you go anywhere, okay?"  
  
She nodded, secretly thankful that her mother had this much tact about a situation which would have driven other mothers to insanity. Then again, her mother wasn't the usual woman.  
  
"So, Natalie. Tell me what you've been up to. What's going on in your life?"  
  
"It's way too early to go into the meaning of my life, Dad."  
  
"Okay, let me specify. Any boys I need to meet?"  
  
Although the point hit much too close to home for her liking, she managed a small smile. She knew what he meant. "No, I'm not dating. I don't intend to for a very, very long time…"  
  
"Glad to hear it."  
  
They continued their couch chat into the early hours of the morning. It was largely idle conversation, but Natalie could hardly be expected to bare her soul right away. In any case, whether spoken or unspoken, they had reached a reconciliation, of sorts.  
  
And it felt good.  
  
A/N: Whew! That's the longest chapter I've written! And the most emotionally draining. Do forgive me if it seems a little contrived, I was trying to get away from it, but Natalie's already so confused, *I'm* getting confused…blah. So you know…  
  
IT IS NOT OVER! Come on, we have to make sure Dicky keeps his word, and besides, it will at least be some humor for Natalie to find out that her father was/is in fact her favorite vigilante! The question is, HOW? Suggestions are welcome! Again, thanks to my amazing reviewers, particularly TesubCalle--you do indeed have the monopoly on my review board, but I could care less! Thank you for taking the time to get that title! 


	10. The Next Morning

A/N: Wow! I've gotten ten whole reviews! I'm so happy! I told my roommate RosemarieLynn (shameless plug, check out her stuff! She writes Star Trek fanfics…) that I would throw a mini party when I hit ten reviews, so…[throws confetti, blows kazoo, hands cake and ice cream to everyone] hooray! It may not seem like much to many people, but this has been really refreshing…that and I just found out I get to take Arabic next semester!   
  
As for the plot line, I may be a little lax in updating from here on out, because while I know what problems I want to arise, I don't know how to put them into words (this is what is commonly known as Cerebrum to Paper Deficit Disorder--writer's block). So, please don't give up on this fic! I will try to get as much out as fast as possible, but like I said, next semester I'm taking Arabic, and a Spanish theater course, and an Antisemitism course…among other things. University is so wonderful and so torturous at the same time…  
  
Chapter 10: The Next Morning  
  
Dick left at five-thirty despite Natalie's insistence on his taking the couch. They didn't need to give Kory anything else to speculate on, he said. Grudgingly, she knew he was right. Still, it had been a mind blowing evening--or morning, whatever way you wanted to look at it.  
  
Natalie didn't sleep at all that night. It was all too much to take in, really. She'd gotten into a moral fight with her two best friends, told her mother about her health problems, and, most surprisingly, bonded with her dad. Not in the traditional way, of course, but there was really nothing traditional about any aspect of her family. Hell, her 'uncles' were really just old friends of the family. Not that she cared.  
  
What she was really afraid of was her mother. She really didn't want to continue the agonizing conversation she'd begun last night. She didn't want to talk about it any more, or think about it anymore. She needed a reprieve after last night's drama, however pleasant it ended.  
  
Knowing her mother would sleep no later than nine, regardless of the weekend, she decided to go for a drive. She wrote Barbara a quick note:  
  
Mom--  
  
Needed to think. I went for a drive, I'll probably wind up at Roy's. Be back soon.  
  
Love, Lili  
  
7:23 a.m.  
  
The use of an endearment was more of a distraction than anything. With luck, it would calm her mother down when she realized her daughter had left during the early hours of the morning. It wasn't infrequent for her to go for morning walks or drives, but Barbara certainly didn't like the idea.  
  
Natalie got dressed quickly and quietly, foregoing her usual black attire for a pair of grey sweatpants, a blue tank top, and purple pull over. She grabbed her helmet and keys from her dresser, stuffed her wallet into a pocket, and took the elevator to the first floor. She walked next door to the parking garage and found space N36, and stood for a moment to admire her motorcycle. It had been a gift from her parents for her sixteenth birthday. Rather, until last night she believed her mother to be the gifter. Dick explained that it was actually one of his old bikes, and that he had gotten it detailed to look slightly like Nightwing's bike, with a few changes. The bike was of course black (as only the best are), with the requisite blue wings along the sides. Flanking the wings were purple markings Natalie had long considered to be flames, although they looked a bit like bat wings every once in awhile, if she looked at them just right. Around both designs were balls of flame, in vibrant orange and red.  
  
Surprisingly, the news that this was her father's old bike didn't repulse her. In fact, if she were honest, it only endeared it more. Bikes weren't cheap, and asking a man to part with their bike was practically heresy. If anything, it showed her a side of her father she'd never considered, but now that she knew, she was glad of the knowing.  
  
She rode the highway for an hour before turning back to head for Roy's. She pulled up at about 8:30, knowing that someone would be awake. The Harper place never slept.  
  
Knocking, she called, "Roy? You there? Lian?"  
  
"Natalie?" The door opened and she was greeted by a tall, slender redhead with a green-eyed baby boy in her arms.  
  
"Hey Lian!" She smiled and hugged her cousin. "I would have called, but I was in the neighborhood…" She looked at the boy fondly. "Hello, Kyle."  
  
"Na!" He gurgled.  
  
Lian smiled. "He's been talking up a storm lately. Come on in. Dad's kinda…passed out. Long night, you know how it is." She moved aside to let Natalie through and took in her attire. "Morning ride again?"  
  
"Yeah. I had a long night." She sighed. "Dad came over."  
  
Lian's eyes grew wide. "What? Why? I mean…well, that's good, isn't it?" She offered Natalie a spot on the couch and set Kyle in his playpen.   
  
Natalie sat down and sighed. "Well, yeah…but it was kind of a shock. I mean, I thought he didn't care, but it's totally the opposite…"  
  
"Okay, spill it, girl."  
  
So Natalie did. She explained the pretense of Dick's visit, which earned a derisive snort from Lian--she never did take a liking to Kory, for some reason--and what he had said to her, how he had hugged her and kissed her forehead, and how they talked into the early morning. "It was like I was dreaming."  
  
"He's your Dad, Nat. He's always going to care about you, whether you know it or not. Uncle Dick's a cool guy, and Dad wouldn't be beating sense into him still if he didn't think he was worth the time."  
  
"I know, I know…it was just weird…besides, I told Mom about the you-know-what, and now she wants to talk about it…" She leaned forward and put her head in her hands. "I didn't sleep at all last night."  
  
"You told your mom about Benz?" Lian winced. "How did she take it?"  
  
"Not so well, but how would you react if someone had violated Kyle?"  
  
"Good point."  
  
They sat in silence for a moment, before Kyle started to cry. Lian moaned. "I didn't sleep last night, either…"  
  
Natalie gave her a sympathetic look and got to her feet. "Come here, Kyle. Give your Mama a break, would you?" She leaned over and picked him up out of the playpen, walking him back and forth across the room, bouncing him on her hip. He quieted quickly and braced himself against her chest, pulling at her sweatshirt.  
  
"You're so good with him, Natalie. You'll make a wonderful mother one day. Just don't follow my example." Lian grinned, watching the pair.  
  
Natalie smiled grimly as she watched the tiny redhead in her arms test his surroundings. "I made my choice, Lian. Now I live with the consequences."  
  
"Oh!" Her cousin's voice cracked and she flushed. "Natalie, you know I didn't mean it that way! And you could always adopt. There are lots of kids out there without parents to look after them."  
  
"I know it. Speaking of parents, has Ollie sent his child support money yet, or am I going to have to hunt him down and beat him?"  
  
Lian chuckled. "Oh, he sent it all right. The last time he 'forgot' was enough to convince him never to 'forget' again."  
  
Natalie smiled at the memory. God, Lian always made her feel better. It had been a few months ago, when Lian was struggling with schoolwork, a job, and keeping Kyle clothed and fed. Kyle was sick, so things were worse than usual. Ollie's check was three weeks late, so one night Natalie and her friends went to pay him a visit. Just as they were about to start setting his flat ablaze, Arsenal showed up. Rab and Twitch had nearly lost control of their bodily functions, but apparently the vigilante was only interested in Ollie.  
  
"I still can't believe a vigilante helped you out." She said to Lian. "Not that it's the vigilante, but…how did he know about that? Sometimes they amaze me."  
  
"You'd be surprised how much they know." Lian smiled her secret smile. Natalie had never understood why, but Lian always seemed to know something she didn't. "Come on, they're vigilantes! They've got to be informed."  
  
"Yeah. Why do you suppose Mom and Dad hate them so much?"  
  
"I'm sure they don't hate them. It's a dangerous job, and some of them are our age, running around, nearly getting themselves killed. It's probably parental instinct." Lian shrugged. "But you know what I think is great, Nat?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You're calling Uncle Dick Dad."  
  
"You're changing the subject."  
  
"I know, just thought I'd mention it."  
  
Natalie left after an hour. There were two reasons: One, she didn't want to have her mother drive over and forcibly remove her from the house so that they could talk. Two, Lian looked like she could use a nap. So after reminding Lian that she would babysit any time, she made her way back to the apartment, with a knot slowly growing in her stomach.  
  
Thankfully, the talk with Barbara turned out to be much more docile than she'd first imagined. Barbara listened intently while Natalie explained everything in more detail, and said little afterward. There was one stipulation, however: she had to tell her father. So after a quick phone call to Dick to inform him that she would be coming, Barbara packed Natalie into the car with an overnight bag, her toe shoes and a sketch pad.  
  
"Mom, do I really have to stay over there?"  
  
"Your father is making an effort, Natalie. He said he would be more than happy to have you. In fact, Dominique was bouncing around the house when I called." Barbara replied.  
  
"They're not the ones I'm worried about. It's bad enough you're driving me there. Kory'll have a fit."  
  
"I'm sure Dick spoke to her. Besides, your father is the master of his house. What he says goes. Quit worrying."  
  
"Isn't this going to be the happy family reunion." Natalie grumbled, and slumped down into the passenger seat with her headphones blaring. "Hello, Dad, I know we worked things out last night, but now I have to tell you that I've been raped. And no, you can't go after the guy. Just great…"  
  
A/N: Again, many thanks to my reviewers, especially TesubCalle and my new reviewers Teri and Arian3. Arian, I'll get to the dance audition eventually, I'm planning that for the very end/epilogue. Right now I've gotta figure out how to inform Dick without him flying off the handle…and then, Calle, yes, we'll get the vigs into it…heh… 


	11. Starting Over

Disclaimer: Alas, not mine…  
  
A/N: Okay, that last chapter was a little short, kinda filler, but I know where I'm going for this, now! I mapped out the next three chapters, so pending writer's block (or the stupid server being down…), they should be up relatively quickly. Again, thanks for all your support! This chapter is going to involve more OC's so be prepared…oh, and Editing Note: I've made a major booboo--Kyle Harper is the son of Lian and CONNOR. NOT Ollie. This is what happens when Ana doesn't read the comics for a looong time and neglects to ask the creator. A thousand pardons!  
  
One last thing and I'll get on with it--I've decided to play up Dick's gypsy heritage. Thing is, I can't remember if both of his parents or just his Dad is Romany, so I'm just going with both of them for the moment. So bear with that, please. I am fully aware that I am yet a student to the DC Universe, even if this is an AU of sorts…  
  
Also, I am a firm believer in Dick as a genuinely good guy. I just also know that humans aren't perfect and he's bound to be a busy man in his profession. He's made mistakes. I hope this restores faith in Dick and in me as a writer…  
  
Chapter 11: Starting Over  
  
"Natalie! You're here!"  
  
Natalie barely had time to step out of the car before being set upon by her black haired younger sister, who launched herself at her waist and nearly bowled her over. "Are you really staying for the whole weekend?"  
  
Natalie grinned and hugged her back; she couldn't help loving this girl when she had a way of making life better with a word and a toss of her soft curls. "Yes, I am, Dommy. Let me get my bag out of the back, here, and we'll see if we can't convince Dad to take the three of us someplace special, okay?" She replied, tugging her pack from the backseat as she mentioned their brother Kale.  
  
"Hello, Dominique." Barbara smiled from the front seat. "How's school going?"  
  
"Kinda boring." Dominique remarked candidly. "I mean, it's third grade. There's not much to do…"  
  
"I see." Barbara replied. "Well, you take care of Natalie here, and say hello to your parents and your brother for me, okay?"  
  
"Okay, Aunt Babs."  
  
"Natalie, I want you to talk to your father about it tonight, all right? No putting it off until Sunday evening."  
  
Wasn't that just what Natalie wanted to hear? Her stomach was knotted enough as it was. And in front of Dominique, no less. "Sure, Mom. Bye…" She waved her off, hoping Dominique wouldn't ask as they hauled her things into the massive house.  
  
"Talk about what, Natalie?"  
  
Well, damn. "It's just something between Dad and me. You know, Mom wants to make sure we try to get to know each other."  
  
"Oh." Dominique nodded, opening the door. "Daddy, she's here!"  
  
"I heard, princess." Dick smiled and walked over to get Natalie's bag. "Hello, Natalie." He took it from her and hugged her tightly. "How are you?"  
  
"Fine! Why?" God, she did not want to tell him right off…this required evasive tactics. "Where are Kale and Kory?"  
  
"At a soccer game." Dick replied, giving her a look that said, 'I know you're hiding something. What is it?'  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I was just getting lunch together. How do sandwiches sound?"  
  
"That's fine."  
  
"Dominique, would you take Natalie upstairs to her room while I finish up in the kitchen, please?"  
  
"Sure, Dad! Come on!" Dominique grabbed her hand and, nearly yanking her arm out of the socket in the process, dragged her up the stairs. "It's right next to my room, too! It used to be one of the guest rooms, but Dad's been fixing it up for a couple of weeks so you can use it when you stay."  
  
Natalie was taken aback. He'd been preparing a room, just for her, for two weeks? "You mean to tell me that I have my own room?"  
  
"Yeah! Dad wasn't sure what you liked, as far as color went, so he just did blues and yellows."  
  
Blue was her favorite color. "Kory must be livid."  
  
"Well, she didn't like it at first," her sister confided solemnly, "but Daddy talked to her and now she likes it a lot."  
  
Natalie only nodded absently as they walked into the room. It was a fairly large room, the same size as Dominique's. The walls were alternately painted a bright, energetic blue--not quite primary, but not electric, either--and a buttery yellow. The large window was draped in a rich yellow valance on a blonde wood dowel rod. Looking around, she noticed that the blonde wood ran along the floorboards and around the closet as well. The bed was a simple twin, with yellow sheets to match the walls, a midnight blue comforter with calligraphy screen printed in a brighter blue and a crimson border, and blue pillows. This had taken time.  
  
Dick Grayson certainly had a way of surprising her, and her eyes stung as she realized just how much care he had put into it.  
  
"Well? Do you like it?" Dominique prompted, a knowing smile on her face.  
  
"I…It's wonderful…" She muttered. She set her bag on the bed and took in the other furniture. There was a bookshelf built around the bed, in place of the headboard, and a small drafting table with pencils and a few erasers. In the corner there was a little nightstand with a CD player and a rack for CD's. Looking closely, she saw that Dick had taken the liberty of selecting a few albums, mainly consisting of world music. There was Celtic, Asian, African, Carribbean, and…Gypsy music? She picked it up and looked at it. "Dominique, why did Dad put Gypsy music in here?"  
  
"You'll see." Natalie could have sworn that the smile Dominique gave her was a replica of the one she'd seen that morning on Lian. Why did everyone always seem to know something she didn't?  
  
Putting it back on the rack, she sighed. "Well, come on. Dad'll wonder what we're up to up here."  
  
Giggling, Dominique nodded and jumped down the stairs, running straight into the kitchen, past Dick, who was setting plates on the dining room table.  
  
"Do you like it?" He asked with a hopeful smile.  
  
Natalie just walked quickly to Dick, holding back the tears that threatened to fall at this sudden affectionate gesture he had made, and hugged him. "Thank you. Thank you so much. It's wonderful, and you didn't have to do it."  
  
Dick chuckled and hugged her back. "No, I didn't have to. I wanted to, because I love you. I'm glad you like it, but I have to admit selfish motives--I was hoping you'd consider spending at least a couple weekends here a month? Maybe a few weeks in the summer?"  
  
"You really want me around?" She couldn't help being a little cynical.  
  
"Of couse we do!" Dominique answered for him cheerily, coming in with a large pitcher of juice. "You're my sister! You're family!"  
  
"Just consider this a fool's apology for the last eighteen years." Dick replied. "And a promise that I'm not letting you go again."  
  
"Kory's okay with this?"  
  
"She's not thrilled at the moment, but she's trying. Besides, we had a talk this morning and she had no idea that she was hurting you the way she did. Now let's eat, shall we? I made turkey and cheddar, peanut butter and jelly, and roast beef and swiss. I don't know what you wanted, but I'm partial to roast beef and Dommy here will only eat PB and J."  
  
"Daddy!" Dominique whined. "I do not!"  
  
Natalie smirked as she sat down and pulled a turkey sandwich onto her plate.  
  
Just as Dominique was about to bite into her sandwich of choice, Dick held up a hand. "Let's say Grace."  
  
Dominique dropped her food quickly and clasped her hands together, bowing her head. Natalie followed suit, chuckling at her little sister. How precious she was!  
  
"Heavenly Father, we thank you for the wonderful food You've set before us. Please bless it to the nourishment of our bodies. And thank you for Natalie, Father. Please let her have a fun weekend with us. We ask these things in Christ's name, Amen."  
  
"Amen." The pair echoed softly.  
  
"Seriously, Dad…thanks a lot." Natalie said, taking a small bite of her sandwich. "I've never…how long did it take you to pull all that together?"  
  
"A couple of weeks. I had Kyle help me pick out the comforter and decide on the colors. Roy, Wally, and Kyle helped me paint. Kory made sure we didn't go overboard making it too feminine or masculine, and picked out the valance and the wood for the floorboards."  
  
"But, you've got work! How did you find the time?"  
  
"I have my secrets." He winked at her and bit into his sandwich. "Oh, I hope you like the music I picked out. You're welcome to bring anything you like over here, but I was just thinking about some mood music for when you draw. The gypsy music is for you to dance to."  
  
"But I don't know any gypsy dances."  
  
"I know. But I'll teach you."  
  
She swallowed and stared. "You know how to dance?"  
  
"Of course! Where do you think your talent came from? Besides, any good Phral Rom knows how to dance." He flashed what could only be described as the Dick Grayson smile, charming and somewhat self-important.  
  
"Rom?"  
  
"A full-blooded gypsy man, of course!" Dick replied. "You're half Roma, you know."  
  
She stared. "No, I didn't."  
  
"My parents were Roma, commonly Gypsies, in Haley's Circus. Our family had an act together. We were called the Flying Graysons."  
  
"I remember Mom mentioning the circus--she says that's where I get my reflexes--but I didn't know we were…what did you call them?"  
  
"Roma. It's a word in Romany that indicates the gypsy people as a whole."  
  
"Roma." She tested the word on her tongue. She liked it. "Cool." She looked across the table at Dominique. "Is this what you meant upstairs?"  
  
Dominique giggled and nodded.  
  
"Well, aren't you the image of a Roma?"  
  
"Actually, you both would be called Chavi. Unmarried gypsy girls. And you actually take after my side more than Dominique." Dick replied.  
  
"But I have red hair."  
  
"That doesn't matter. And it's gotten darker over the years. You have Roma bone structure and skin tone."  
  
"Dad, I'm pale."  
  
"Do you really know that much about gypsies, or are you going off of stereotypes?" Dick asked, amused. She was silent. "I thought so. Like I said, you've got more yellow and brown in your skin than Dominique does. She takes after her mother in that department. But if you really want to know the clincher, it's your eyes."  
  
"They're like yours."  
  
"Exactly, ves'tacha Chikni." Dick smiled. "That means 'dear daughter.'"  
  
"What's…father?"  
  
"Dadro." Dick smiled. "Mother is Dai. 'Sister' is Phei and 'brother' is Prala."  
  
"Dadro. Dai. Phei. Prala." Natalie tried each slowly.  
  
"That's it!" Dominique smiled, her mouth full.  
  
"So…how'd we wind up with the name Grayson?"  
  
"Ellis Island, just like every other good name that gets assimilated. I believe our name before that was Falkonov. Falko means 'praise' in archaic Russian."  
  
"Oh…"  
  
"Natalie, I know this must be very strange for you right now, but by all rights it shouldn't be, and that's my fault. I want you to know that I love you and would do anything for you. I know it will take some time, but I'd like you to be able to trust me."  
  
Natalie suddenly wasn't very hungry. She pushed the remainder of the sandwich away and took a long gulp of her juice. Whether she trusted him yet or not, she had to tell him. Her pulse picked up, and she was sure anyone within a fifteen mile radius could hear it pounding against her temple and in her chest.  
  
"Are you all right? You look a little flushed."  
  
"I…I'll be fine. But…we need to talk about something." She turned to Dominique. "Dommy, would you mind giving us a few minutes?"  
  
"Oh, is this the thing?" She asked.  
  
Natalie only nodded. Her throat had constricted. She wasn't sure she would be able to answer if she wanted to.  
  
"Okay. I'll be upstairs." The eight-year-old--so mature for her age, Natalie thought---cleared her plate away and bounced up the steps.   
  
Natalie let out the breath she had been holding, not taking her eyes from her plate. "This…isn't easy for me to talk about, and like I told Mom, it won't be easy for you to hear." Realizing that she could very well be scaring him more than she intended, she hastily added, "It's got nothing to do with you, don't worry."  
  
Dick frowned. "I wasn't going to." He reached across the table to take her hand, but she pulled away, shaking her head.  
  
"I'll be fine. Um…" How does one tell their father that someone raped them and destroyed their chances of having children of their own one day? Fuck it, she thought, pulling out the orange tube from her back pocket. It was about time to take one, anyway. She opened it and downed one in a gulp of juice, then set the vial in front of her father. "Do you know what that is?"  
  
Dick eyed her carefully, then turned his attention to the tube. His eyebrow arched. "These are very powerful painkillers."  
  
"Yeah…even after four years, it still hurts."  
  
"Four years? What happened four years ago that I don't know about?"  
  
"Don't feel too bad, Mom didn't know either. I only told Twitch, Rab and Lian."  
  
"Natalie Elaine Grayson, what happened?" She was surprised. His tone wasn't angry, but very insistent.  
  
She fixed her eyes on her plate, then softly mumbled, "I was raped."  
  
Dick's face paled in a matter of seconds, and she was almost positive she saw tears in his eyes. "What?"  
  
That knot in her throat wasn't helping things, and her own eyes stung. "I think you heard correctly."  
  
"Natalie, why didn't you tell me?" He stopped himself and winced. "Well, why didn't you tell your mother?"  
  
"I didn't want to disappoint her."  
  
"Natalie, it wasn't your fault! Rape is about power, what bastards do to girls to assert their power! Your mother would never be disappointed in you, and neither would I!" She watched his countenance change drastically. His eyes went from crystalline blue to the darkest shade of blue imaginable. His face hardened, and his mouth was set into a grim line. Come to think of it, he looked quite a bit like Bruce Wayne, the man her mother said had been his guardian. She'd only met the man two or three times over the years, but this sudden change in her father scared her. She almost pitied Benz. Almost. "Who was it? If you know, his life is going to be hell, I swear to you."  
  
"His name is Josh Newport. He goes by Benz around school."  
  
"School? Do you mean to tell me he's a student? Why didn't you tell one of your teachers?"  
  
"Because it's not that simple!" She yelled. God, she wanted this to be over. She pulled back into her cocoon of safety inside herself and braced herself for a scathing reprimand.  
  
Nothing.  
  
"What do you mean?" Dick's voice was soft, but no less dangerous.  
  
"I mean that his parents are foreign internationals, nationals, something. He's got some kind of amnesty. The law can't touch him." She didn't want to tell him everything about Benz, not yet, especially after that first display.  
  
"There are other ways of getting him, Natalie." Dick whispered. "But explain to me what these pills have to do with it."  
  
Damn. She had hoped that the one bit of bad news would be enough to put him off. "Well…I…I…" Tears welled up in her eyes.  
  
"May I touch you?" Dick asked gently. No one had ever really asked before, at least not for awhile. She nodded slowly and he took her hand gingerly. "You take your time."  
  
"You're going to be so ashamed of me…"  
  
"Natalie, I promise you that won't happen."  
  
"I was a coward…" The tears started to spill down her cheeks, and she tasted the bitter salt of them on her lips in a few seconds. "He…he got me pregnant, and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't handle a baby. I was scared. And all I could think about was what Mom would say, if she knew that I had ended up like her." It all came gushing out, and she started sobbing. This was too much, she couldn't let her father see her sobbing! But somehow, she couldn't stop. "So I went to a clinic and had an abortion. My friend Diego helped me forge Mom's signature. Only, they botched the procedure and they had to perform an emergency hysterectomy, and even botched that…that's why I have that medication. But…I killed a baby…I killed it…I deserved it…"  
  
She barely mustered the courage to look up, and what she saw made her want to bawl more. There were tears running down Dick's cheeks as well. "Dad, I'm sorry…"  
  
He got up so quickly that his chair clattered to the floor. He pulled her up into his arms and just hugged her. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. Abortion is wrong, but so were the circumstances of the conception." His voice shook with emotion, and he didn't let her go as she hugged him back. "You have done nothing wrong."  
  
This man wasn't perfect. But he was an angel.  
  
They stood like that for a long time, but Natalie finally pulled herself away, uttering a thank you and excusing herself to go upstairs and clean up. She needed a long, hot bath.  
  
"So the law can't touch him?" Dick murmured to himself once she was gone. "Fine. Then the Titans will. And he will wish that the law had taken him. Where we will take him, nothing can protect him." After setting the chair back into place, he abandoned the messy table and went to make some very important phone calls.  
  
A/N: Whew! Okay, I hope that was believable…Natalie may be rather accepting of his generosity, but she's being shell shocked, right now, so can you blame her? Thanks to all my reviewers! Arian, this is for you. Hope she was shaking enough, because that's not an easy thing to tell ANYONE much less your father (especially when your father has such dangerous resources…). 


	12. It's Time

Disclaimer: [checks] Nope. Still don't own it. DANG IT!  
  
A/N: Okay, this isn't Benz's retribution quite yet—come on, they've got to have time to   
  
plan! But in the mean time, some sappy stuff between Dick and Kory. Despite the way   
  
Kory dislikes Barbara, they really are quite a cute couple, heh…  
  
Don't worry, it won't be all sap. And I'm sorry if it's taking awhile to get these chapters   
  
out. I've changed my mind about the direction I want this story to go, so I might take a   
  
little longer than usual.  
  
Chapter 12: It's Time  
  
Kory returned from the soccer game without Kale, explaining that he had gone to   
  
Joey's house for a weekend sleepover. Dick was rather relieved that he wouldn't have to   
  
deal with his son's prejudices against Natalie and sighed.  
  
"Just as well. Natalie's here."  
  
Kory bristled. "Is she?"  
  
Oh, if she started he would not be responsible for his actions. "You listen to me,   
  
Kory. You've made wonderful strides the last few weeks in being nicer to Natalie. But if   
  
you don't treat her well this weekend, I promise you will not like the results." He was   
  
more savage than he had intended, and shuddered, pulling her close. "I'm   
  
sorry…I…she's upstairs. She's just informed me of some things that happened to her a   
  
few years ago. Things that hurt her, physically and emotionally."  
  
A flash of maternal concern flashed across Kory's features and Dick almost   
  
smiled. She did care about Natalie, but too often she let her grudge for Barbara dictate her   
  
actions. "What kind of things? What happened?"  
  
"She told me in confidence, and since I'm still on eggshells with her I'm not   
  
going to betray her trust. It was very hard for her to tell me. Suffice it to say that I'm   
  
coming out of retirement."  
  
His wife's eyes were large. "Can I help?"  
  
"I don't want you to see what I do to the boy that hurt her, love." He touched her   
  
cheek gently. "I'll be assembling the others."  
  
"Roy, Wally, Garth and Kyle, I assume?" Kory asked. "Do they know?"  
  
"Not yet. I'll tell them what's necessary. They'll understand."  
  
"What about Bruce?"  
  
"I have yet to call him." He replied. Natalie knows he is technically her   
  
grandfather, but she's seen little of him in the past few years. I may ask him to run a   
  
search on the kid's recent activities, but right now, I'm not involving anyone who's not   
  
necessary."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
He pulled away and rubbed his temples. "She doesn't know about us."  
  
"You mean…Barbara hasn't told her?"  
  
"We agreed not to tell her until she turns eighteen."  
  
"But even Kale and Dominique know! Speaking of Dommy, where is she?"  
  
"Upstairs with Natalie. Don't worry, she's smart. She won't say a word."  
  
"That's not my point, Dick! She should know who her parents are, really!"  
  
"Used to be, Kory. Used to be."  
  
"You can't ignore it, Dick. Besides, she's already eighteen! She has been eighteen   
  
for what, four months?"  
  
A ghost of a smile graced his lips. "Kory, you remembered her birthday."  
  
"Yes, well…" Kory smiled. "I may be alien, but I'm not a complete witch." She   
  
sidled up to him and nuzzled him. "I know you love her. That's as it should be. And I'm   
  
glad you're finally starting to act like her father, despite me."  
  
"Kory…" Dick rasped out as her lips found his neck. "Kory!" He growled a   
  
second time, "You don't know what that does to me…"  
  
"I know exactly what it does." She purred. "Why do you think I do it?"  
  
"Well, if you're going to torture a poor old man, there's nothing for it." He put his   
  
arms around her waist and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Just as he was resigned to   
  
carry his wife to the bedroom and make love to her for hours, they heard a giggle.  
  
Pausing, he turned to see Dominique standing in the doorway of the kitchen.   
  
"And what may I do for you, Dominique?"  
  
"Nothing!" She giggled again and turned to her left, addressing someone out of   
  
sight. "It's okay, they're just kissing…Natalie? Are you okay?"  
  
Kory frowned and walked forward. "Natalie? You can come on in. It's okay."  
  
Keeping her eyes pinned to the floor, she stepped into view. Her hair was still   
  
wet—Dick noted that she must have spent awhile in the bath, and he didn't blame her—  
  
and she had a sweatshirt and baggy workout pants on. "Sorry. I can go upstairs…"  
  
"No!" Kory said quickly. Biting her lip, she stepped forward and put her hands   
  
very tentatively on Natalie's shoulders, wincing when she felt Natalie shiver. "Natalie,   
  
you are always welcome to come and go as you please. And…I owe you an apology.   
  
While I can't say that I like your mother much, your father is…right. I shouldn't let my   
  
problems with her transfer to you." She took Natalie's chin and lifted her head to look   
  
into her eyes. "You are my stepdaughter, and I'm ashamed that I've become the wicked   
  
stepmother. I can't ask you to forgive me, but know that it won't happen again." She   
  
turned to Dick with a small smile and he slipped his arm around her waist.  
  
"Now, how long have you two been eavesdropping?"  
  
"Not long, Daddy!" Dommy replied earnestly, holding up two fingers. "Promise!   
  
We only came in and heard you sweet talking to Mom…" She gave him the classic   
  
Grayson grin and he started to melt.  
  
"All right. Go on and play. Kale is spending the night at Joey's, so it's just the   
  
four of us this evening." Turning to Natalie, he added, "There's a hairdryer under the sink   
  
in the bathroom if you want to use it."  
  
She nodded thankfully and gave a motion with her head for Dommy to follow her.   
  
"Come on, Dom. I brought something with me I wanted to show you. It's in my bag   
  
upstairs."  
  
When they had disappeared upstairs, Dick turned to his wife. "That was close."  
  
"You need to tell her, Dick. Especially now that you plan on coming out of   
  
retirement."  
  
He nodded. "It's time."  
  
Natalie's heart was pounding when they reached her room. It was true, Dommy   
  
had come into the room just as Dick and Kory had begun their amorous exchange. But   
  
she on the other hand had heard almost their entire conversation.  
  
There was something her parents weren't telling her, something they intended to   
  
tell her when she was old enough, which could be never. But Dominique and Kale   
  
knew…why couldn't they tell her? What could be so important that they keep it from her   
  
and tell her younger siblings?  
  
"Dommy…"She started to ask, but thought better of it. She was a Grayson.   
  
Dommy knew how to keep a still tongue in her head, even if it meant denying her sister.   
  
Instead, she walked over to her portfolio and pulled out two charcoal pictures; one of her   
  
siblings, and the picture of Dick she had started at Kyle's. "Look at these. What do you   
  
think? I only had your school pics for this one." She indicated the portrait of Dominique   
  
and Kale.  
  
Dominique's eyes were wide. "Wow, Natalie! That's great! But—is that Dad?"  
  
"Yeah…I did that one from memory, so it's not exactly accurate."  
  
"Yes it is! These are amazing! Can you teach me to do that?"  
  
She smiled. "Sure thing. I brought extra supplies. Let me just pull them out and   
  
we'll start with the basics, okay?"  
  
She quickly forgot her wet hair as she introduced her sister to the messy joys of   
  
charcoal. They started small, with just shaded shapes like spheres and cones. Eventually   
  
Dominique got tired of inanimate objects, so Natalie sat for her portrait, unable to laugh   
  
as her sister's face grew furrowed in focus. It was all very serious.  
  
"Natalie! Stop laughing! I can't draw you if you keep moving!"  
  
"Sorry." Natalie murmured, pursing her lips and fighting the mad urge to laugh.   
  
They worked for two hours, and by the time Kory came up to get them for supper, they   
  
were absolutely covered in charcoal.  
  
So much for the bath.  
  
A/N: Okay, horridly short, horridly written, but I'm having a massive case of   
  
Cerebrum to Paper Deficit Disorder, and I wanted to get SOMETHING out. Sorry! 


	13. Author's NotePlease Read

Hey Gang! I wanted to thank everybody for the reviews! You have been so supportive, even though this is an Alternate Universe fic and everyone seems to be out of character. The OOC-ness of this fic is basically due to the fact that it is set in my own universe and at a time that is between two comic series. Not to mention that the Titans series is one I am not super-well versed in, which is WHY I take the AU stance in the first place. I know more about the YJ, but my story involving them isn't really getting reviews...  
  
As for Vigilantism being illegal already, yeah, I understand that it is. I suppose I should clarify that what Babs and Dick are campaigning for is less support of them from the boys in blue, i.e., they don't work with them and take an active stance in realizing that they are illegal. Sounds cruel (because I love the Titans, too! Especially Kyle...but then, I'm an artist, go figure I like GL...), but if anyone has seen the Batman Beyond Series or BB: ROTJ, you'll understand where I'm coming from, at least from Babs' perspective.  
  
I know this is just an Author's Note, I'm sorry I'm cranking the story out so slowly and rather incongruously, but I do know what I'm doing. I'm going to go back and fix a bunch of the typos, which I've corrected in AN's for anyone who reads them.  
  
As for flames (because I received one), you are fully allowed your opinion. I appreciate that despite the fact that you hate it, you took the time to review—telling me what's wrong helps me make my writing better. However, if you could be a little more constructive instead of pointing out the obvious (OOC, contradictory—I do have reasons for these things), it would be highly appreciated.  
  
Next item of business, for anyone who's still reading this ([yawn]), I'll update fairly soon. The chappy in which Benz gets his ass-kicking could come from several directions, and I'm having a hard time choosing the most painful...heh...  
  
Thanks a ton! You guys are so great! Ana 


	14. Revenge Is A Dish

Disclaimer: [checks again] Nope. Still don't own anything.  
  
A/N: Sorry this has been so long in coming! I know you want Benz's ass to be kicked as much as I do, but unfortunately, this is the most difficult chapter I have had to write thus far. VERY intense (at least, the writing was…)  
  
Also, thanks, Calle, for giving me the idea that I was able to run with! ^_^  
  
Cookies and chocolate for everybody who reviews!  
  
stuffstuffstuff denotes a flashback, since I can't figure out how to get italics to show up…  
  
Chapter 13: Revenge is a Dish…  
  
The weekend passed pleasantly after that, and Dick had the decency not to ask Natalie anything more than she had volunteered. For that she was quite grateful, and even found herself enjoying the time she spent with her father as he taught her a complicated Russian country dance, the Korobushka, and others. It was a surreal feeling, to be so close to a man she had always thought to be so cold. He wasn't like that at all. Not really.  
  
How could she have been so childish?  
  
Monday afternoon found Natalie at the warehouse again, working through her part of a dance called Spangletto--another Dick had taught her on Sunday. The Gypsy CD blasted in the background, and she found herself getting lost in the drum and fiddle rhythms, even if the music wasn't quite right for the dance. So much so that she didn't hear Rab and Twitch come in.  
  
"What's with the violins, Natalya?" Rab chuckled. "Not exactly your usual."  
  
"It's gypsy music--romani music." She corrected herself quickly, stepping off the floor. "Turns out I'm half gypsy, on my dad's side." She had told them of her little trip to Dick's place, but not about it. There hadn't been time.  
  
"So, you and your d--dad?" Twitch trailed off suggestively.  
  
"We're getting along." She smiled. "I don't really know where the guy came from, either. I mean…they gave me my own room at their house! So I can visit more often!"  
  
"Wow…" Rab muttered. "Nice."  
  
"That's great, Torch! I told you he c--cared!" Twitch grinned.  
  
"I know he does. At least, I know now." Natalie flicked off the CD player and pulled her boots back on.  
  
"So, the question of the hour." Rab said, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. "Did you tell them?"  
  
"Why do you think my mom insisted on packing me off this weekend?" She retorted, giving her laces a sharp tug. "It's not like she's in the habit. Yes, I told them."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And what?"  
  
"What did they say?"  
  
"They're both bound and determined to nail him, even though I told them--"  
  
"Stop, Natalie." Twitch said, holding up a hand. "Even though nothing! That b--bastard needs to come to jus--stice."  
  
"I told them, they know now, just leave it alone, okay?" She asked. "I really don't want to talk about this right now."  
  
"Okay, so tell us about your weekend. You obviously had a good time." Rab grinned and fell onto the beat up sofa against the wall. "What'd you do?"  
  
"Showed Dommy how to draw." Natalie shrugged, but smiled a bit at the memory. That charcoal had taken half an hour to scrub off! "We got messy."  
  
"What else?"  
  
"Dad showed me some dances. My dad can dance…weird…" She didn't know why, but she didn't want to explain much more. The fact that there was something she didn't know about her mother was a little unnerving, and she didn't need anyone to know that she was unnerved about it.  
  
"Well, damn!" Rab grinned. "You're calling him Dad now?"  
  
"Shut the hell up." She retorted, chucking a discarded sitting pillow at him. She was unable to contain the grin. "Unless you want me to go back to the bitchy, angsty, everyone-hates-me chick, which I can do…it won't be pleasant, but if it's what you want…"  
  
"Go back? Who says you've left?" Twitch egged, sitting down at the table to fiddle with a new motor.  
  
Just as she was about to make another comment, the door swung open. Instinctively she jumped to her feet and put her hand into her back pocket where her switchblade and lighter were. Rab and Twitch stood as well.  
  
Good thing.  
  
Because there in front of them was Josh Newport. Known to the general student population as Benz. His short brown hair was spiked and he sported sunglasses--expensive ones--over his steely eyes. His tank top did nothing to disguise his muscled form, and he still wore the same self confident smirk on his face. It somehow eerily reminded Natalie of Dick's own smirk, but Benz's was…malicious, dangerous. There was the difference.  
  
"Well, well, Natalie…you're looking well. Miss me?"  
  
She felt her blood run cold and her heart jumped into overdrive. She drew out her knife and held it in front of her, trying not to let her hand shake. How could she let him have this much power over her? He couldn't! She wouldn't let him! "Get out, Benz." She spat. Rab and Twitch started forward, but she held out a hand. "Not here."  
  
"Ah, see? She likes me, boys." He walked forward. "Put that thing away, Natalie. Someone might get…hurt." He continued walking, and she fought the sudden urge to bolt. She would not let him see that she was afraid of him.  
  
"I said to get the hell out, asshole." She said. Her voice was quiet, firm, and…dangerous. Out of the corner of her eye, she noted Rab's concern. God, what one weekend with Dick Grayson would do! "Or you'll give me a reason to tear you apart here and now for all the pain you've caused us."  
  
"Caused you? What about what you've caused me?" He came within three feet of her and stopped. "You killed my kid." Damn. He was still cool as could be. Confident. It irked her to no end, but she wasn't about to let the Gordon temper flare up now. That would give him an opening to hurt her again. Thank God Twitch and Rab weren't doing anything at the moment, although they looked ready to pounce with one motion from her.  
  
"I'm going to ask you one more fucking time, you bastard. Get out."  
  
Rab started to move forward. "The lady said--"  
  
He didn't finish his sentence. Benz cleared the three steps in a second and had Natalie by the waist before she could blink. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."  
  
She heard a click near her ear and felt sick. He had a gun. Why had she let him get so close? Why wasn't she kicking and screaming?  
  
"Let her go, Josh." Twitch said, eyes cold. "Or I won't be responsible for what I do to you."  
  
Benz laughed. "Threats from a fried techie who can't even speak right! No, I think I'll just kill her now, thank you."  
  
Her pulse was racing. She had to do something about this, she wasn't helpless! Think, Natalie, what did Mom say? Something about music…SING! Solar plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin. In less than a second she swiftly jammed her heel into his instep. The gun went off and through the ceiling. She barely had time to thank God for it before she took advantage of his surprised state and slashed him across his chest with her blade. He cried out, dropping the gun, and lunged at her.  
  
Rab was close behind, and pulled her behind him, giving Benz a swift punch to the jaw. "Get out of here, Natalie!"  
  
"Like hell!" She cried. She wasn't leaving her friends with this sadistic ass!  
  
She winced as she realized Rab had broken concentration to listen, receiving a right hook from Benz that sent him across the room. "Fucking son of a bitch!" He yelled, turning on Natalie. "Bitch! I'll teach you to cross me!" He pulled a knife and moved for her, bringing the blade up.  
  
"NO!" Twitch threw himself between the two, catching Benz's blade in his ribs.  
  
Time slowed for Natalie then. She watched as a third brother fell to the ground and cried out. Benz gave her a sadistic grin as he pulled the knife from Twitch's frame and started toward her. She slashed the air with her own blade to keep him from her.  
  
"You stay the hell away from me! Get out!"  
  
A stinging sensation burned into her arm. She'd gotten hit. He grabbed her and wrestled her to the ground, pinning her legs down his his knee and her arms to the floor by the wrists. "Bitch, you'll pay!"  
  
"No!" She struggled to fight him, but his lips claimed hers roughly and she tasted blood on her lips. He was going to rape her again. Drugged with fear, she fought harder. No, it wouldn't happen again! He raised a hand to cuff her and she braced herself for the impact.  
  
And felt nothing. Nothing but a swift burst of wind and the release of weight above her. There was a sickening crack as Benz landed on the concrete floor ten feet away. She shakily sat up and paled again when she saw who had him pinned there by the neck.  
  
Nightwing.  
  
What was he doing here? She shook the thought aside and rushed to check on Twitch. But he was…gone. Where was he? There was a thud and she turned to look in the direction of Nightwing, only to see him dragging Benz up to a wall and beating him mercilessly. Not that she cared. A hand on her shoulder made her whirl. "Your friends are safe. I took them to Gotham Central Hospital."  
  
She couldn't believe it. The Flash stood in front of her. Nightwing, the Flash, who else was going to show up? "I think we should get you there as well, Natalie, your arm is bleeding."  
  
"You think you can just take what you want?" Nightwing was speaking again to Benz, holding him up by the neck off the ground. "I see you weren't taught the proper manners."  
  
That voice…wait, how did the Flash? "How do you know my name?" Natalie asked him.  
  
"We'll explain later. Right now we need to get you to a hospital, young lady." Tempest replied, stepping casually from the shadows with the Green Lantern.  
  
"And let 'Wing and myself have some fun with this oversexed asshole." Arsenal added, casting a malicious eye on the subject of Nightwing's attack. He still seemed to be whispering things to Benz, but Benz wasn't making a sound. "Save some for me."  
  
Natalie didn't know where to look first. The entire team of the Titans--excepting the woman who was usually with them--was in their warehouse! Defending them, juvenile delinquents!  
  
"You don't need to see this, Lili." The Green Lantern nodded.  
  
Lili? She looked closely at the masked vigilante. Black hair, average height, well built…with a certain lilt in his voice…and he had called her…  
  
"Are you still drawing, Lili?"  
  
"Kyle, I'm not five any more."  
  
"So more's the pity. You grew up way too fast."  
  
Her eyes widened. It couldn't be! Kyle wouldn't be running around as…she felt near to fainting when he gave her the smallest of nods. That meant…looking at Arsenal, she pegged him for Roy at second glance--he was holding his favorite gun, which was something more like a crossbow. She felt suddenly very dizzy. This wasn't happening…she felt the Flash pick her up and walk her swiftly out. The last thing she saw before she fainted was the remainder of the team closing in on Benz…and from the top of the hill she could still hear his screams.  
  
A/N: Okay, so it was sucky. But it's not over, I promise! I gotta do stuff with the Titans, that's just how it is! 


	15. In The Dark Recesses

Disclaimer: I don't own nada. You know the drill. Do you really think I'd own it after only a few months? Well, I DON'T! I mean, I could try chaining myself to the fence outside of the DC Comics HQ and demanding partial ownership, but I don't think I'd get very far…besides, let them worry about all the legalities. As long as I say I don't own it ("I don't own it.") they can't peg me for anything! Bwahahahahaha!  
  
A/N: I'm dual dedicating this chapter to Arian3 (my 25th reviewer! You rock!) and Naru-Kami-Mehami--I hope your roommate won't wig out on you! Tell her from me it's OKAY! Heh…so you know, my chapters will prolly be updated once a week from here on out. I know I've been kind of random, but it's nearing the end of the semester and all…have to CLEAN the dorm before we move out…blah…  
  
Chapter 14: In The Dark Recesses…  
  
"Aw, now why'd you do that, 'Wing?" Arsenal asked, gazing on the unconscious form of Benz pooled on the floor. His nose was bleeding and there was no doubt among the team that Dick had given him merely a taste of what was to come. "I told you to save some for me!" He whipped out a rag and began to polish his crossbow. "I know you're her father, but we all deserve a go at the bastard."  
  
"He's just unconscious, Arsenal. I have plans for this one." Nightwing replied softly as he gave a disgusted look. "He didn't just rape her. He's a pedophile. Anyone who messes with children pisses me off, you know that."  
  
"Good thing we finished off the rest of his gang before we came in." Tempest muttered.  
  
"So what did you have in mind?" Lantern asked.  
  
"As much as I want to kill him right here, that won't solve anything. Neither will maiming him. No, the best way to injure people like this is to get into their mind. That's where they can't escape. If we get into the darkest recesses of his mind, he'll never forget us. Or Natalie."  
  
"You're sounding a bit like someone out of Arkham, 'Wing." Lantern responded carefully. "Just make sure we don't go too far."  
  
"Too far? Kyle, this…this thing raped your goddaughter and did God knows what else!" Roy cried.  
  
"Lantern's right." Nightwing said pensively, not taking his eyes from the limp corpse in front of them. "But we won't have to touch him."  
  
"The nature of psychological warfare." Tempest nodded. "Although I was kind of fond of taking a page from Ivan the Third's book. Impaling him so he stays alive sounds rather generous."  
  
The Flash sped up in a blur of red and yellow. "Impaling? Yes, it sounds generous. Too good for him. What'd I miss."  
  
"We're employing psychological tactics on this pustule." Arsenal spat.  
  
"I like the way you think." The Flash gave an almost disturbing smile. "He won't know we're not going to touch him, right? So, Arsenal, what's to keep you from shooting at him, as long as you miss by a hair?"  
  
------------------------------  
  
Everything was black. Benz's limp body was tied to a char in the corner, though no one could tell where the corner was, exactly. There was no light except for the occasional flickering of a single bulb that swung on a wire. It was only enough to see flashes of movement by the vigilantes occupying the room.  
  
Nightwing was fairly pleased with the results. Oh, he would make this worm pay. It may have been his own fault that Natalie was afraid to tell him what had happened, but he could do something with the knowing. With each flash of light, a new memory of Natalie surfaced in his mind. Holding her in the hospital, seeing her toddle around headquarters and bumping into things. She had been too young to remember any of it. He remembered the first time she said Daddy--it had been directed at Garth, not at him.  
  
It stung him to see his baby calling someone else Daddy, but at the same time, he was glad that she had someone whom Barbara trusted to take care of her, if only for awhile. Now it only rubbed salt on an open wound. Gazing on the bruised form tied to the chair, his eyes grew colder. He felt a hand on his shoulder, but didn't turn.   
  
"You've fought your entire life against becoming apathetic. Don't start now. You'll get your revenge, but it won't take away the pain." Tempest said quietly. "He deserves much worse than we're going to give him. But it won't make what happened to her undone."  
  
Nightwing sighed, turning. "Remind me why you're still doing this."  
  
"For the same reason you came out of retirement one last time." Garth smiled, giving his shoulder a squeeze.  
  
"Can we wake him up now? My trigger finger is getting an itch." Arsenal said from his place against the opposite wall.  
  
"No, he's got to wake on his own. To nothing. No light, no sound." Lantern said, his voice darker han they had ever heard it. When they turned eyes in question, he simply replied, "He hurt our little girl. He's going to pay."  
  
"'Wing, there's something you should know." The Flash remarked. "Natalie's aware of Arse and GL, here. I think she pieced it together when GL used her nickname."  
  
Nightwing frowned. He hadn't wanted it to happen like this.  
  
"It was going to happen eventually." The Flash replied, as if reading his thoughts. "It's not going to be easy for her, but at least her mother has exposed her to some facet of the truth."  
  
"Hey, he's waking up!" Arsenal hissed. He apparently hadn't taken his eyes off the boy. Yes, boy, Nightwing thought. No man would ever hurt a woman or child. No real man. Oh, this would be fun…  
  
They watched his eyes slowly open, groggily, as he tried to grasp his surroundings. Then they shot open and he struggled to free himself. Good luck, Nightwing thought, I tied those knots myself.  
  
"What the hell? Where am I?" Benz shouted.  
  
Silence.  
  
He struggled more and only managed to assist the ropes in cutting into his wrists. Any physical damage done now would be at his own hand. "Hey! Somebody help! Somebody!"  
  
Nightwing smirked and glanced at Arsenal, who nodded and knocked a bolt into his crossbow, making sure Benz heard the click.   
  
"Who's there?" His voice was shaking. Good. He was disoriented.  
  
Flash sped immediately behind him and Benz turned to look.  
  
"What's the matter, don't like being tied down?" Nightwing asked, making sure to keep to the darkest corners. He would not be seen yet. With another nod, Arsenal released the bolt and it whizzed by Benz's head, embedding itself into the wall behind him. He screamed.   
  
"Who are you? What do you think you're doing, man?"  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Arsenal smile and release another, which landed on the other side of Benz's head. The boy yelped. "Cut it out, man!"  
  
Nightwing chuckled. "You should recognize this feeling, Joshua. How's your pulse?"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
Tempest and the Lantern began making noise around Benz, just soft shuffles and rustles of fabric. Nightwing nodded to them and Lantern created a long pole with small, blunt spikes sticking out of it, while Tempest summoned water up around Benz's feet. They moved within three feet of him and as the light flickered, they advanced silently.  
  
Benz struggled in the chair. "The Green Lantern? Tempest? What are you doing? No, don't!"  
  
"Oh, but this will be fun, Joshua." Nightwing replied from the shadows, keeping his voice calm, velvety, even. "You'll like it. Just like Natalie Grayson did when you forced yourself onto her."  
  
They were cast into darkness again save the green glow of the shaft in the Lantern's hands, which soon faded.  
  
They could see perspiration on Benz's brow now, and he was visibly shaking. Oh yes, this was coming along nicely. There would be no need to draw it out as long as they had planned.  
  
"How do you know about that? Who's that speaking?"  
  
"I know many things, Joshua. Now just sit back, or I'll have to punish you."  
  
This time, Arsenal sent three bullets at Benz, letting one graze the side of his forehead ever so slightly.  
  
"God, please, don't! I didn't do anything wrong! She wanted it!" Benz cried.  
  
"Calm yourself. It was only to assure you that you are not dreaming." Nightwing replied. "But I would not lie, if I were you. I am a very powerful man and capable of killing you now, if I wish. Hear me. If you ever go near Natalie Grayson or any other girl again, I promise you we will meet again. And next time, this will not be so pleasurable."  
  
Lantern summoned the pole again and levitated it in front of Benz, sending it closer, and closer, and closer…  
  
Nightwing smiled as he began to squirm. "You made one very big mistake, Joshua. You chose the wrong girl. Not that it matters, I would have come after you anyway."  
  
"Please, don't do--"  
  
"No, no. I think I'll answer your question now. You wanted to know who I am." He crossed the floor in a matter of seconds and came within millimeters of his face, preparing a pin that would put him to sleep. "I am Natalie's father." There was one more flicker of light and Benz screamed, seeing him so close. Nightwing's mouth twisted up into a dangerous smile as everything went black again and he signaled to his teammates.  
  
The air was filled with dark chuckles, slowly increasing in volume and intensity into full-fledged cackles of laughter. Benz began screaming again, and only quieted as Nightwing slipped past him to insert the pin into a pressure point. Then his body went limp…  
  
A/N: Okay, so I know this was really evil. The point was, however, not to harm the guy, but screw with his head. Sorry if Garth and Wally didn't get much to do, I was kinda stuck on that…anyway, hope you enjoyed. Next chapter: Natalie's reaction to her 'uncles' identities! 


	16. Waking Up

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.  
  
A/N: Woohoo! Thirty reviews! [wipes a tear] I'm so happy! Thanks, guys, you're awesome!  
  
Just so you know, this chapter will deal with more of my crazy Alternate Universe. I love Tim Drake, and in my universe, he married Cassandra Cain (Batgirl). They have one adorable little girl at this point (whose story you can read at my site, too. It's called New Thunderstorms. A little darker, and I'm not sure if I'm gonna write more or end it where I have it, so review and let me know!).  
  
Again, keep in mind this is an AU!  
  
Chapter 15: Waking Up  
  
The first thing Natalie saw when her eyes opened was…charcoal. She was staring up at a large mural pinned to her ceiling. Her bedroom ceiling. For a moment she laid there, pondering what the hell had happened to her, when a familiar sting in her arm brought it all back.  
  
Benz.  
  
Her eyes flew to the injured appendage. It was cleaned and bandaged. Why wasn't she at the hospital? Her arm had been slashed just before--  
  
Twitch.  
  
She sat bolt upright. He'd been stabbed. Was he even alive? And what had happened to Rab? How had she come to be…the Titans. God, she hated memory flashes. Why couldn't she just remember everything at once? On cue, she realized. Her uncles were…  
  
"Glad to see you're awake."  
  
Her eyes flew to the voice coming from the left. Her mother stood in the doorway, arms folded. "What happened? Where's Twitch? Is he okay?"  
  
Barbara frowned and moved to sit on the edge of her bed, something she did when Natalie was little. "Twitch will be fine. He's in the hospital, getting care for his injuries. The knife missed all of his major organs, so he'll be on his feet in no time. As will you, but you're going to lie here and rest for the remainder of the evening."  
  
"Mom, I'm fine! I don't need to--"  
  
"Listen to your mother." Natalie was suddenly aware that her father was behind Barbara, standing in the hall. She was sure all the blood in her face was now in her stomach.   
  
"Dad…what are you doing here?"  
  
"I received a call…" He looked uncomfortable, for some reason. He ran a hand through his hair. Natalie knew they weren't on the best of terms, but he'd been perfectly comfortable over the weekend. "Natalie, it's time we told you." He sighed. His words had a kind of finality to them that made her shiver.   
  
She looked at Barbara. "Mom? What is it?"  
  
"You know that Kyle and Roy are the Green Lantern and Arsenal, don't you?" She asked gently.  
  
Oh. Oh God. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. "I…Yeah…how do you know?"  
  
"Can I sit down?" Dick asked. She nodded and he did so, reaching into his briefcase and pulling a dark object out of it, placing it in her hands. Looking down, she gasped. It was Nightwing's mask!  
  
"Um…Dad? How…how did you…how did you get this?" She asked.  
  
"The same way I got this." Barbara said, handing her another piece of cloth. Batgirl's cowl?  
  
Natalie's pulse began to race. It couldn't be! There was no way they could be! They were too set against vigilantes! "And…how is that, exactly?" She prayed silently that this wasn't actually happening. Maybe she was hallucinating! That was it! Hallucinations!  
  
Not that she would mind having Nightwing for a father…she'd played pretend about it as a child…and having Batgirl for a mother wasn't all bad either…No! No, it wasn't real!  
  
"Natalie, would you look at me please?" Natalie realized she was staring down at the two pieces of headgear in her hand, and the pleading in Dick's voice brought her eyes immediately to his. For some reason, she began to calm. Something about his eyes did that to her.  
  
"I am Nightwing. Well, I was. I retired when Kale was born." He said slowly, choosing his words carefully. "Your mother was Batgirl at one time. And as I remember, quite good." He smiled at Barbara and she smiled back, if sadly.  
  
"So…you ARE a vigilante? Mom?"  
  
Barbara nodded. "We would have told you a long time ago, but we didn't want you to get caught up in it. It's far too dangerous for anyone, especially kids."  
  
She frowned. She wasn't a kid anymore. "But they do so much good! You did so much good! Why did you stop?"  
  
"Because of what it did to us. What it still does to us." Dick explained. "We had to grow up way too fast. We had to learn to accept death, pain, suffering. We didn't want that for you."  
  
"So instead of telling me early on and explaining this then, and guiding me to make good decisions, you just took the decision away completely?" Natalie cried. "Why could you tell Dominique and not me?"  
  
Dick frowned. "How do you know about that?"  
  
Natalie pulled the two pieces of clothing into her lap and fingered them gently. She didn't want to be upset with them, didn't want to fight with them. She…really liked the idea that her parents were vigilantes, if she was honest. But why hadn't they told her? "I heard you and Kory talking last weekend. She said that even Kale and Dommy knew about this."  
  
"You are different, Natalie." Barbara replied gently. "You are MY daughter. We did what we thought was best at the time, even if I had to make the decision alone for awhile."  
  
Natalie bit her lip. She could understand why her parents had done it, but she didn't have to like it. She was silent for a few minutes, just running her hands over the masks, memorizing the curve and shape of the mask and the feel of the fabric of the cowl. Then she asked, "Who else?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Who else?" She repeated, looking up at Dick. "Who else is a vigilante?"  
  
"You know who Roy and Kyle are. Garth is Tempest, Wally is the Flash. Bruce is still running around as Batman, even though I keep telling him he's going to have a heart attack. Your uncle Tim was Robin, after your father." Barbara paused. Natalie nodded. Her mother had explained how the first Robin--her father--had once had a falling out with Batman and broke away to become Nightwing. "His wife Cassandra, your aunt, was the third Batgirl. She was mute for a long time, do you remember that?"  
  
Natalie nodded. She still remembered some of the hand signs that her mother had taught Cassandra. "So I guess this is why we never got busted for stealing cars?"  
  
Dick sighed. "You returned them." He said. "You have stopped that, though, haven't you?"  
  
"Rab said we're going legit." She nodded. "This way we can make a little honest money for college…" Her thoughts drifted to her friends again. Her parents were vigilantes. The ones that Rab had always feared. How was she going to explain this? "What time is it? Can I go visit them?"  
  
"It's nine-thirty. You can visit them tomorrow." Barbara replied. "What do you think about this?"  
  
"I don't exactly know what to think, Mom. I mean, Dad walked back into my life just a few weeks ago, acting completely alien to the way I always pictured him. Then I told you my darkest secret and you packed me off to stay with him for the weekend," she paused to look at Dick, "which was wonderful, don't get me wrong, but then I heard Kory talking about some big secret about you and Dad, Mom. I didn't know what to do about it, and now that I know…it's not exactly what I was expecting, but it could be worse."  
  
"I thought you liked vigilantes." Dick remarked.  
  
"I do, Dad! It's just…it's not every day a girl wakes up and finds out her parents were! When I was little, do you know what I did? I sat up late listening to Roy and Kyle and Wally and Garth tell stories about vigilantes, one in particular." She held up Nightwing's mask. "I used to imagine that he was my father, and the reason why he was always gone was because he had to fight the bad guys…" she chuckled. "I guess I wasn't that far off, was I?" When she looked up, she saw Dick's eyes shining with tears. What had she said? "Dad, you okay?"  
  
"I had no idea." He murmured, pulling her into a hug. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."  
  
Her throat tightened. She didn't want to go down memory lane again. "It's okay, Dad…really."  
  
"Is it?" Barbara asked.   
  
Natalie pulled away from Dick and hugged her mother tightly and sighed. "Yeah…I just have one question…"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Are all the stories true?"  
  
A/N: Okay, so it was a sucky chapter. This was pretty hard to write--like Natalie said, it's not every day you wake up and find out your parents are vigs! I hope I stayed true to her character and to Dick and Barbara's. I'm thinking this story may only have a couple more chapters left, unless my readers (that's you!) want to suggest plot ideas, which I am wholly open to… 


	17. Reunion

Disclaimer: I don't own, I just play.  
  
A/N: Teri gave me a great idea for some added fun! And this way I can introduce some of Tim's family (I.e. his little girl)…thanks, Teri! This one's for you.  
  
Just to warn you, my universe with Tim Drake kind of blends his comic and cartoon background together. I.e., his father was Jack Drake (comic), but he died and Bruce took him in (cartoon). He studied with Lady Shiva for awhile (I believe that's comic, somewhere…) and Lady Shiva in my universe IS a villain, of sorts, but she's kind of on the cusp. You'll see what I mean…  
  
AND I'M SORRY FOR THE DELAY! It's Finals week, and Russian History is kicking my large deriere… for a play by play of the next week (if you're that bored) you can go to my live journal at www.livejournal.com/users/machaira_scribe. If you're that bored…  
  
Chapter 16: Reunion  
  
Natalie went the next day to see Rab and Twitch in the hospital--her mother wrote her a note to excuse her from school that day. Rab had a mild concussion and Twitch was back to his usual self in the hospital bed, flirting relentlessly with all of the nurses. Apparently the knife hadn't stuck him as deeply as she had thought, thank God. They were both shocked that vigilantes had shown up the night before, but thankfully, they didn't press the matter. They were more relieved to see that Natalie was alright, emotionally and physically.  
  
Well, her emotions had been through a blender in the last few weeks, but she wasn't about to admit it and make them worry more.  
  
"Do you know what they did to Benz?" Twitch asked her.  
  
It occurred to her that she didn't even ask about it. Then again, knowing that the vigilantes in question were her family, she almost didn't want to know. She was certain he wouldn't be bothering her again. "No. The Flash pulled me out of there before I saw anything."  
  
Just then, her cell phone rang. Cursing, she glanced around to make sure no one was looking, and picked it up.  
  
"Natalie, we're not in the ICU, we're on a totally different floor, you're fine." Rab replied.  
  
"Oh…sorry, hello?"  
  
"Natalie? Is that you? Good God, you sound just like your mom!"  
  
She smiled broadly. "Uncle Tim!" She covered the receiver to mouth, "My uncle in Japan," to her friends. They gave her smiles and thumbs up. "I haven't talked to you in a long time!"  
  
"I know, it's terrible. But I have something of a surprise for you. Your dad called me yesterday morning and said that you two were finally talking. Glad someone knocked some sense into him."  
  
"Me too." Natalie said. "What's the surprise?"  
  
"Why don't you come home and see?"  
  
Her eyes went wide. "Holy hell, you mean you're here? In Gotham?"  
  
She was sure Twitch and Rab could hear Tim's booming laughter on the other end of the line. "Language, Natalie. And don't take my word for it. Listen."  
  
"Natalie! Natalie, we're here!" A small voice on the other line shouted. Christ, was that…  
  
"Is that Annie? She's talking finally?"  
  
"Only took her five years, and now it's full sentences. She got really angry at one of the neighbor kids and yelled, 'stop chasing me, Kentaro or I'll make you!' at him." he replied.  
  
Natalie laughed. "Really? Sounds like Annie, alright. Okay, um…give me a few minutes here with my friends, they--"  
  
"Your dad told me. That's part of the reason we're here. Go ahead and take your time. We'll be waiting."  
  
"Okay, Tim."  
  
"And Natalie, sweetie? We love you."  
  
She smiled giddily. "Love you too, Tim. Give Cassandra and Annie hugs for me. I'll be there in a bit."  
  
For all that she'd seen him five times since he'd moved to Japan with Cassandra, Timothy Drake was still a very large fixture in her life. And now that she understood what bound her family together, it made her appreciate it even more. To some degree, she had always been especially close to her extended family, even if she was breaking all kinds of laws and being something of "the bad girl" all the time. Her friends knew it, and her family knew it, so others who didn't could shove it.  
  
"I take it he's in town?"  
  
"Yeah…" Natalie smiled. "But he said to take my time, so let's grab some lunch together, okay?"  
  
"Nah, Natalya. You go ahead. We'll be right here." Rab replied. "Besides, Twitch has enough ladies here to keep him occupied for awhile."  
  
"You know Rab, it's a wonder you're not taken." She replied.  
  
"I've got you, that's all I need."  
  
"Such a charmer. Are you sure it's all right?"  
  
"Torch, how often does this uncle f--f--fly in from Japan again?" Twitch asked, crossing his arms gingerly. He was trying to look stern and failing miserably.  
  
"Not often."  
  
"Then go!"  
  
It was a quick drive home. She had a lot on her mind and barely noticed as the street lights whizzed by. Her parents had been vigilantes. Her entire family was made up of vigilantes. Illegal crime fighters. The ones her parents always refused to work with based on principle. The men and women she had idolized from birth, in some form or fashion. To discover so suddenly that they were in fact the people that she had loved and loved her bore thought. As she pulled into the parking garage and took the elevator up, she wondered…How did her parents get along with everyone so well if they were so opposed to it?  
  
All such thoughts were of course dashed the moment she opened the door and was accosted by a blur of lavender and raven pigtails.  
  
"Natalie! You're here, you're here! Ota-san, Daddy, she's here!" Her five-year-old cousin shouted, gripping her legs for dear life.   
  
Laughing, she picked her up and settled her on her hip. God, she had grown so much in a year! And was she speaking Japanese as well? "Hello, Annie." She smiled.  
  
Then she spied her uncle. He was still about an inch taller than she was; his black hair was streaked with stray gray hairs and there were traces of smile lines around his still vibrant blue eyes. He had changed very little since she had last seen him, but he looked like a man in his early forties, for all that he was only thirty-seven. He held his wife tenderly about her waist. While her husband may have aged, even slightly, she was still as beautiful as she always had been. The only signs of age on her face were the smile lines around her own brown eyes, giving her an air of grace that only maturity of age can bring. Looking on them now, Natalie realized how much she had missed them.  
  
"Tim, Cassandra." She grinned, and walked forward to crush the small family into a fierce hug, Annie still resting on her hip.  
  
"Look at you, Natalie! Much prettier than your picture."  
  
She blushed; Tim Drake had always been a charmer. But then, it made sense now, knowing that he had been a vigilante once. "Thanks, Uncle Tim. Is Mom still at work?"  
  
Cassandra nodded. "She said she would be home soon. She's in a meeting."  
  
"So I get you all to myself?"  
  
"You bet. And I raided the kitchen, we had lunch already. Have you eaten?"  
  
She nodded. "Had lunch at the hospital with Rab and Twitch."  
  
"How are they doing?" Cassandra asked.  
  
"Really well, considering. They're keeping Twitch another week for observation, but Rab's getting out this evening."  
  
"You have good friends, Natalie." Tim said. "Your Dad told us what happened."  
  
Natalie felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach. "Yeah, he was there, wasn't he?"  
  
"He would have been there sooner, but they were delayed by the men posted outside."  
  
She frowned. "What?"  
  
"You didn't know?"  
  
"No, I didn't. In fact, no one's told me anything about what happened yesterday after I blacked out."  
  
"Well then maybe it's not my place…"  
  
"Uncle Tim." Natalie said, setting Annie down, "There have been enough secrets in this family. I'm a big girl."  
  
"Like me!" Annie piped in.  
  
She had to smile at that. "Yes, Annie, like you. Tell you what, can you show me some of those moves your Dad's been teaching you later?"  
  
She was pleased to see the girl's eyes light up. She looked so much like her mother! "Okay, I'll go practice!" 'Practice' consisted of crossing the living room and working through katas in an open corner.  
  
"Are you sure you want to know?" Cassandra asked.  
  
"I'm the daughter of Nightwing and Batgirl. I think I can handle it." The words left her lips without thinking, and they surprised her. She WAS the daughter of vigilantes…  
  
"A bit surprising, isn't it?" Tim asked kindly. "Come sit down and I'll try to explain."  
  
"Is this why I was never allowed to study martial arts when I was little?"  
  
"Unfortunately, it's a part of it. Your mom didn't want to see you use it for vigilantism. Though I'm sure she wishes now that she'd taught you."  
  
Her eyes snapped up to meet his. "Mom told you?"  
  
The compassion in Tim's eyes made her heart ache. "Yes, she did. As far as I know, we're the only ones who know what happened besides your mom and dad."  
  
She felt sick. Her eyes went back to her lap and her cheeks went warm. He knew that Benz had…oh, God… "What about Roy, Kyle, Wally and Garth?"  
  
"Dick said he told them only enough to make them understand that Benz had hurt you." Tim assured her, patting her hand. "After Wally took you out of there, they took Benz to a completely different location, and tortured him mentally. They never laid a hand on him after the warehouse. Roy decided to shoot a few bullets and shafts near the kid's head, and Wally and Kyle had some fun with their respective talents."  
  
Natalie cringed, imagining just how much fun they might have had.  
  
"After driving him to near madness, your Dad told him who he was--"  
  
"What?!" Natalie cried. "You mean he told Benz that he's--he's Nightwing? That's like signing a death warrant!"  
  
"Natalie, calm down and listen, please." Cassandra said gently from the other side of the couch. She sighed and bit her tongue.  
  
"First of all, Dick has built up an impressive reputation in his field. To accuse him of illegal activity would be like accusing the President of selling nuclear missiles to terrorists." Tim began, rather didactically. "Also, if Benz comes forward with the information, he'll have to explain where and how he got it, which means he'll implicate himself in a rape case against you, Dick's own daughter. Not to mention two homicides. Yes, I know about what he did to Diego and Mara. I don't want to discuss that."  
  
Natalie's pulse began to race for the second time that evening. How did they know about that? There had been no evidence that Benz had been involved in either of the murders…Good Lord, just what kind of family did she belong to? Aside from a very safe one? Her conscience asked. She shook the thought away.  
  
"What did they do with him after that?" She asked.  
  
"They knocked him out--acupuncture point--and left him in front of the warehouse where they found him."  
  
Natalie stared. "You mean they let him go?"  
  
"He knows what will happen if he bothers you again. And he knows it won't be nearly so gentle." Cassandra said softly. Natalie shivered. Yes, she could see now the influences Cain had had on her aunt's early childhood. She believed Cassandra was fully capable of killing someone if she was inclined.  
  
"So…what happens now?"  
  
"Now you start learning."  
  
"Learning what?"  
  
"The family ways."  
  
"Hold on! You mean Mom and Dad are actually going to let me learn how to fight?"  
  
"No, they're going to let you learn how to defend yourself." Tim replied. "Annie, baby, what's the first rule about fighting?"  
  
From the corner, Annie paused in her kata to reply, "Karate ni senti nashi--there is no first attack."  
  
"Good." Tim smiled. "Finish practicing." He turned to Natalie and explained, "You are only to use what you learn in your own defense or in the defense of others. If you ever start a fight, there will be severe consequences."  
  
"But I'm way too old to--"  
  
"I thought you wanted to learn?" Tim asked, a teasing smile on his lips.   
  
"I do! I just thought…" Natalie trailed off. She really didn't have a good argument. Why was she arguing about this, anyway?  
  
"You're not going to be a viglante, Natalie. Your parents already said they didn't want you to join the NJLA, although you're an adult and can make that decision when you get good enough."  
  
"So…who's going to teach me?"  
  
"Me." 


	18. The Family Business

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada. Nicht. Zilch.  
  
A/N: Okay, while it IS the summer and I have more time on my hands, updates will probably come once a week from here on out. Thanks to all my awesome reviewers!  
  
Chapter 17: The Family Business  
  
Natalie turned to see Dick Grayson in the doorway of her mother's apartment. She didn't know whether to be shocked or passive.

"Unca Dick!" Annie launched herself at him and he swooped her into his arms. "That is, if you'll let me." He added, looking pointedly at Natalie.

"But you and Mom said—"

"Were you listening to Tim and Cassandra at all, Natalie? It isn't safe for you to walk around not knowing how to defend yourself properly. A knife and strong legs will only get you so far."

"I can do a lot more than that."

He smirked and leaned against the doorframe. "So you don't want to learn, is that it?"

"No!" She said quickly. "I just...it's a lot to take in, Dad." Biting her lip thoughtfully, she figured she might as well ask..."When do I start?"

"Right now."

"Now?!"

"Yes, now. Get in the car, I'm parked just downstairs."

"But Tim and Cassandra—"

"—Will be here when you get back. We're staying the week, remember?" Tim winked. "Besides, we're having dinner here tonight with your mom and Sam. And you'll be back before then." He eyed Dick. "She WILL be back by then, right, Boy Wonder?"

"Of course, Squirt." Dick winked, setting Annie down. "I'll be back later, Princess. Come on, Natalie." He spun on his heel and quickly exited, leaving a stunned Natalie behind. After an encouraging gesture from Cassandra, Natalie followed suit.  
  
They drove for a good thirty minutes to the outskirts of Gotham, into the older part of the city. Past downtown where the decrepit buildings were crumbling and through the large park, they were silent. Finally, Natalie couldn't take it anymore. Something looked familiar...

"Where are we going, Dad?"

"To see your grandfather."

"Which one?"

"Bruce Wayne."

She frowned. "He hasn't seen me since Mom's wedding!" Noting the flash of sorrow in her father's eyes, she paused, before adding, "Well, he hasn't seen me in a long time. Why are we going to see him?"

"Because he's the best. He trained me, and he's going to help train you. He has the facilities. Here we are." He pulled up to a wrought iron gate well over ten feet high. There was a long drive leading up to an ominously large mansion.

"Still just as big as I remember." Natalie murmured. "Looks like a prison..."

If Dick heard her comment, he said nothing. Rolling down the window, he pressed the button. "Alfred, it's me. I've got Natalie with me, would you open the gate for us?"

"Of course, Master Dick." Came the proper Englishman's reply. Slowly, the gates swung forward, and Dick drove through.

"Do you remember Alfred at all?" Natalie smiled. Of course she remembered the kind butler. He had always made her feel special, and she told Dick so.

"I remember the last time I came here, when I was about five, he showed me the library with all the books, and read the first part of A Cricket in Times Square that night, when I had trouble sleeping and Mom was talking with Bruce about something or other."  
  
"Did he do the voices?" Dick asked with a smile as he parked the car.

"How did you know about that?"

"Because he used to read to me at night, and he used them for me." He replied. "He's a very special man, Alfred Pennyworth."

"I know."

"So is Bruce Wayne."

She raised an eyebrow.

"He may not relate like too many people you know, but he's a very special, very good man."

Natalie sighed. "I know...it's just that I don't really know him, and now..."

"You don't really know him like you don't really know me, and it's a lot to handle. You're right, it is a lot, but you're still capable of doing it. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think you were capable. Bruce wouldn't be doing it." He got out of the car to greet Alfred at the door, who smiled broadly.

"Welcome back, Master Dick."

Natalie waited her turn as Dick hugged Alfred, then launched herself at him. "I missed you, Alfred!"

"And I you, Miss Natalie." He chuckled. "Why haven't you come by more often?"

"Busy, I guess. I'll try to be better about it."

"From what I understand we will be seeing quite a bit of you." He winked.

She rolled her eyes as she followed Alfred and her father inside. "This family never ceases to amaze me..."

They walked back into the library, but Bruce was nowhere to be found. Natalie smiled as she took in the masses of old volumes, inhaling the scent of the musty tomes mixed with the strong odor of coffee and a hint of some kind of cologne.

Dick's hand hovered above a nondescript volume and he looked at his daughter. "What you are about to see, Natalie, is something I'm sure you know not to tell anyone."

It dawned on her. "The batcave?"

Alfred smiled. "Very perceptive, Miss Natalie. Much like your parents. Perhaps a career in law enforcement might suit you? Detective work, perhaps?"

Natalie chuckled and shook her head. "No, I don't think I have the head for the numbers..."

Dick only smirked and pulled the book down, causing the case to slide aside, revealing a long, narrow corridor winding down into the darkness. "Ready, Natalie?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Natalie sighed. While she was definitely nervous—she knew this wouldn't be easy—she still felt like it was her birthday. Yes, this would be fun!  
  
A/N: Okay, it's short, but it's an update. It's kinda filler too, but what I have planned I have to break up, or it'll be way too long. Again, thanks to my reviewers, and Teri, you're welcome!


	19. Author's NoteAgain, Sorry!

Hey Gang! Sorry for the lag, PLEASE don't kill me because this is JUST an author's update! [ducks and covers]  
  
I recently received a review that was more appropriately a flame than a constructive criticism. Apparently my plot is confusing in parts--perhaps it is because said reviewer only read ONE CHAPTER. Please, don't waste my time by flaming my work if you can't stand to read the whole thing. There is such a thing as plot pacing, which I use to my advantage. Also, if you would deign to read the previous Author Notes, you will notice that this is an Alternate Universe, MY universe, and I try to write the characters as true to their actual personalities as I can, while incorporating how I believe they would react in the situations I put them in in MY universe. This is why they may seem OOC. Deal with it.  
  
Finally, I have never considered it necessary to curse at an author in a review. Not only is it tacky and wholly pointless, it gives the impression that the person cursing can find no better words to express themselves, which I find quite sad, particularly since the English language IS so vast. Again, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcome! I need to know how to improve myself if I'm to get better! But I don't have time to waste reading people's opinions on the very first chapter which honestly has no plot to begin with and is written from one character's POINT OF VIEW, which is generally faulty.  
  
To my loyal readers, whether you like this fic or not, THANK YOU! You are the ones who keep me going, and keep me writing. I never expected this piece to get the kind of response it has, and I'm very thankful for the support! You guys make it all worthwhile!  
  
Sorry the updates are coming so slow, but I've hit a complete block. Any suggestions for plot? Or ideas for a sequel, since this one is nearly complete? Email me at machairagirlyahoo.com! 


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